By Kim J. Harmon

You know, it’s okay when the Detroit Lions play the 12:30 game on Thanksgiving Day. That’s when everyone is bellying up to the table, pulling their shirts out of their pants and undoing their belts, and shoveling forkfuls of turkey, mashed potatoes, beets, cranberry sauce, corn, and pumpkin pie (or apple, if you prefer) into their mouths.

I_mean, who cares what the Lions do, am I right?

But at 4 pm, right when the two glasses of wine and the triptopan from the turkey is working its sleep-inducing magic on our bloated bodies, the last thing we need is a boring football game.

But we got one. Oh boy, did we get one.

There aren’t many teams in the NFL_who can score points anymore. Blame it on the lack of quality quarterbacks or defenses that are getting more sophisticated - whatever. But Dallas and Miami are two of the lower scoring teams in the NFL and they did nothing to dispel that idea on Thanksgiving.

The Dolphins really did nothing. They got shutout.

I mean, usually I can hold on to the third quarter. But this year I was out by halftime - when the score was 0-0 for crying out loud.

There oughta be a law.

Where’s my turkey sandwich?

Thursday

PITTSBURGH (+10.5) at Jacksonville: Remember when everyone thought of Kordell Stewart as SLASH and how dangerous he could be lining up at wide receiver or quarterback or even running back? Then Bill Cowher turns him into just a QB and turns him into a poor one-dimensional player. Great move. (KH – Jaguars; SB – Steelers)

 

Sunday

NEW YORK JETS (-2.5) at NEW YORK GIANTS: This game – even for New York fans – has all the luster of a rusted spoon. Sure, both defenses are pretty strong, but both offenses are among the National Football League’s most pitifully inept. I can picture the Jets winning this game, 6-3. I really can. (KH – Giants; SB – Giants)

 

DALLAS (+2.5) at NEW ENGLAND: This one is a head scratcher. The Cowboys blank Miami on Thanksgiving and then get three extra days to rest while the Patriots look pathetic against the Bills . . . and the Patriots are favored? What is up with that? Home field advantage can’t be that powerful, can it? (KH – Patriots; SB – Patriots)

 

INDIANAPOLIS (+2) at MIAMI: It looks like the only thing that can bring the Colts down is their defense. The offense – even despite scoring just 13 points against the Jets – is probably the best in the NFL. I don’t think a weakened Dolphin team can overtake the Colts. (KH – Colts; SB – Dolphins)

 

WASHINGTON (+3.5) at DETROIT: The Redskins are an example of another team with an explosive offense but a poor defense – in this case, atrocious defense. The Lions are better than the Eagles and should be able to stop Stephen Davis. That should keep the exciting chase in the NFC Central Division going. (KH – Lions; SB – Redskins)

 

TENNESSEE (-3.5) at BALTIMORE: This game could be a shoot out because both the Titans and the Ravens like to score points and dislike stopping other teams from scoring. But the 9-2 Titans are a darn sight stronger than the 4-7 Ravens, if you ask me – which you didn’t. (KH – Titans; SB – Titans)

 

GREEN BAY (-3) at CHICAGO: I like the Bears in this game for no other reason that they are home and if I pick the Packers to win, they would lose. (KH – Bears; SB – Bears)

 

SAN FRANCISCO (-2) at CINCINNATI: You would think that even the Forty-Niners could beat the Bengals, as bad as the Bengals are, but the Niners are too busy sinking like a stone to be able to win this one. (KH – Bengals; SB – Forty Niners)

 

ST. LOUIS (-7) at CAROLINA: If the Rams win this game, they would clinch the NFC West title – with four games left to play! Judging from what the Rams did last year – which was stink up the NFL and nearly drive Dick Vermeil back into retirement – this is simply amazing. In this game, the Panthers simply are too conservative on offense to keep up with the explosive Rams. (KH – Rams; SB – Panthers)

 

NEW ORLEANS (+4) at ATLANTA: Can it get worse than this? The Falcons are 2-9 and the Saints are 2-9 and nobody could care who wins this game – probably not even Mike Ditka. These two teams are near mirror images of each other. Besides the record, both have given up exactly 269 points. But the Saints have scored 182 while the Falcons have scored only 155. Does that mean anything? Nah. (KH – Falcons; SB – Falcons)

 

PHILADELPHIA (+7) at ARIZONA: Twice now, the Eagles have played the Washington Redskins tough but those are really the only two good games the Eagles have played all year. The Cardinals – with Jake Plummer or Dave Brown – should control this game. (KH – Cardinals; SB – Eagles)

 

KANSAS CITY (+4) at DENVER: A normal person would like the Chiefs in this game. The Chiefs beat the Oakland Raiders in a shoot-out last Sunday and should be on a roll. But the Broncos are rested with the week off and I bet they just don’t lose to the likes of the Chiefs at Mile High Stadium. (KH – Broncos; SB – Chiefs)

 

SEATTLE (+1) at OAKLAND: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers really exposed the weaknesses of Seattle quarterback Jon Kitna last Sunday, but the Raiders are not even a shadow of the Bucs on defense. Kitna has had a good season and he should get back on track in this game. Remember, the Seahawks are 8-3 and the Raiders are 5-6. (KH – Seahawks; SB – Seahawks)

 

CLEVELAND (+7.5) at SAN DIEGO: The Browns already have two wins on the season, which is one more than I’d thought they would get. So why not three? Well, because even the Chargers are better than the Browns. But even if the Chargers win, I bet this one is close enough for the Browns to cover the spread. (KH – Browns; SB – Browns)

 

Monday Night

MINNESOTA (-2.5) at TAMPA BAY: The Bucs are going to get an untested quarterback to step in for Trent Dilfer and that, my friends, should be enough to say the Vikings will win and win easily. The Bucs’ defense, though, is still among the best in the NFL, so they should still slow down the Minnesota offense. But slow it down enough? (KH – Vikings; SB – Buccaneers)

 

SCOREBOARD

KIM HARMON                8-6-2                          82-84-8

STEVE BIGHAM                      8-6-2                                    98-68-8