Q. My six-year-old son was invited over to a friend’s house for dinner for the first time. Although he’s a good boy, he doesn’t always use his best manners. I want him to make a good impression but I don’t want to nag him with reminders to the point that he feels anxious. What should I do?

A. There isn’t anything wrong with reminding your son to use his basic manners (saying please, thank you, etc). The truth is that I don’t know any six-year-olds that always use their best manners. And the parents of his friend have also seen their share of forgotten manners, so stop worrying. You think he’s a good kid – that’s what you should tell him. It will give him a boost of confidence. Feeling good about yourself always makes a good impression.

Q. My child is toilet trained during the day (and has been for some time). However, she is soaked when she wakes up from sleeping all night. I don’t know what we can do.

A. Some children stay dry through the night shortly after (or at the same time) they learn to use the potty during the day. This skill is not true for all children. Learning to recognize the body’s signal to urinate and waking oneself up to do so is a complex set of skills. If your child wears a diaper at night and is waking up soaked, I would not push nighttime training. You can start waking the child up before you go to bed – put the child on the potty – and then put her back to sleep. (This method only works if your child goes back to sleep easily.) In addition, make sure you get your child on the potty as soon as she wakes up. Sometimes parent forget and the soaked diaper actually happens after the child wakes up, not overnight. Make certain to check the diaper right away. With patience and time your diaper days will be behind you.

 

Q. Help! My three-year-old is making me crazy. He was great until the morning of his third birthday. The night before I put my angel to bed and the next morning a little devil had taken his place.

A. We can relate! We called the two’s terrific, not terrible, and the three’s, we call them the treacherous three’s! Our advice is to stick to your mode of discipline whenever you are tested – your child needs that more than ever. Give extra hugs and kisses – you both need these desperately at this time. Lastly, call in the reinforcements: family, babysitter, friends. And take as many breaks (or mommy time-outs) as possible – you need this more than ever.

 

Q. My two children are very close in age and I want to minimize sibling rivalry. What can I do?

A. Sibling rivalry is a normal part of a child’s development as he/she realizes that they are separate individuals. The key is to raise your children in an equitable environment while allowing room for them to be their own people. If you overcompensate and try to make everything equal, you run the risk of setting up “competition” between them. Your children will still argue. Allow them to work out their disagreements when they can without your intervention. Step in if needed and teach them to respect each other. They might end up best friends, or they might not, but they will learn how to act so that they can get along with others.

 

HOT TIP

 Tired of the battle of sugary drinks? Try using naturally flavored sparkling water or create your own concoction of sparkling water and apple or cranberry juice.

 If you have a question that you should like answered, please send it to: Child Cat, c/o The Bee, PO Box 5503, Newtown, CT 05470.

After 10 years in corporate America, Barbara Gains decided to put her early childhood development degree to work. Barbara and her husband, Richard, live in Newtown where, as a mother of two young children and three older stepchildren, Barbara has experienced her share of children’s emotions and mood swings – in good times and bad. In addition to having a lead in the post partum group at Danbury Hospital, Barbara and her children have been involved in several play groups in both Connecticut and New York.

Formerly a Bethel resident, Tina Fiorella moved to Newtown recently with her husband, John, and their two young boys. After putting her degree in psychology to work for several years in the mental health field, she decided to stay home and raise her children on a full-time basis. Tina and her boys participate in various playgroups and organized activities in the area.