Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy and wealthy and dead.

                         —James Thurber

The art of medicine consists of keeping the patient amused, while nature heals the disease.

                                      —Voltaire

If you wish to keep as well as possible, the less you think about your health the better.

          —Oliver Wendell Holmes

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

                        —Erma Bombeck

This is a youth-oriented society, and the joke is on them because youth is a disease from which we all recover.

                   —Dorothy Fuldheim

We are not responsible for our illness, we are responsible to them, to what they offer and require of all of us, sick and well alike.      —Kat Duff

Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint.         — Mark Twain

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn’t much better than tedious disease.

      —George Dennison Prentice

A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses.                                       

                              —Hippocrates

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.

                                    —Jay Leno

It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.

                            —Jackie Mason

Quit worrying about your health. It’ll go away.

                            —Robert Orben

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

                                 — Redd Foxx