Don’t Wait For Someone Else

To Raise Your Children

To the Editor:

In response to the February 27, 2004 The Newtown Bee’s “Parent Connection Forum — One Mother’s Sobering Account of the Loss of Her Son,” I applaud Mr and Mrs Katz for having the courage to tell the story of their son, Ian, and Mrs Carolan for sharing her story. I’m sure the pain is relived every time they share their stories and I’m sure their courage to share will save someone’s life. As a mother of three teenage sons, I pray I never have to experience what they have gone through.

The one line I must comment on was the response of a parent to Mr Triber, Newtown High School Assistant Principal: “You have our children in school for eight hours. [Parents] have them for five.” Mr Triber chose not to reply.

I may not have a master’s degree, but eight from 24 is 16! And are you relying on someone else to raise your children? It’s your responsibility to raise them and have them take responsibility for their actions. Set a good example, know where they are and who they’re with. Set restrictions. Talk with them (even if you’re the only one doing the talking) and let them know what’s acceptable and what’s not. Discuss TV shows, movies, and current events (including their lives) with them. Dare to watch a TV show or two with them and interject your thoughts during and after the show. Let them know how and why a characters’ behavior is dangerous and totally unacceptable and that the same behavior would not be acceptable in your house and what consequences there would be if that were to happen in your house. And if they do happen to make bad choices (let’s not call them mistakes) make sure consequences are enforced. Remember the old saying: “This is gonna hurt me more than it does you.” Most of the time it does. Better yet, dare to shut off the TV because the show is such trash (or they’re not old enough for its content) and forbid them to watch it and make sure that they don’t.

You can do all the above things and more in raising your children and still it might not be enough. Just remember that teenagers are still children and children need guidance. Parents are the primary source of guidance for their children, not a school system.

Sincerely,

Linda M. Haas

767 Old Waterbury Road, Southbury                          March 3, 2004