Why They Do It —

Ashlar Volunteers Talk About Giving Their Time

By Jeff White

Molly’s head craned up and down, then side to side, anxious to get a view of the very large people mingling around her. There’s a pair of legs that she leaned into, and she took turns between contorting her head in different directions, and resting assuredly against the towering man.

The legs belonged to Allen Finkenaur. Molly is his gray and brown beagle, and for the past two years, the two have teamed up to cheer up residents throughout Ashlar. Molly is what Mr Finkenaur described as a therapy dog. The two make their regular rounds, going from room to room visiting residents, especially those bound to beds or recovering from an injury. Often, Molly would hop in bed with a resident, or call in on a resident undergoing physical therapy, he explained

“I was in a nursing home visiting, and I thought about what I would want most if I was living in that nursing home, and that was an animal,” Mr Finkenaur recalled. Since that day, Mr Finkenaur has been a sharer: not only giving his time, but sharing his best friend with the residents of Ashlar.

For Mr Finkenaur, it was a logical conclusion to use something he had to bring happiness to others, as it has been for the 213 men, women and children that regularly give their free time to Ashlar’s residents. In the newly renovated main foyer on a recent Wednesday night, Ashlar employees and residents gave a little of their free time to pay a tribute of thanks to the volunteers.

“They really are an integral part of the quality of life that the residents have here at Ashlar,” said Hilda DeLucia, the nursing home’s community resource director. Her job is to promote Ashlar to the surrounding community, and then in turn to promote the outside community to Ashlar’s residents with volunteers. “[All our volunteers] try to enhance the quality of life for the residents.”

And for the most part, with each year that passes, more and more people come to Mrs DeLucia inquiring about service opportunities in the nursing home. Typical volunteers do everything from regular one-on-one visits with a “best friend” to group visits, helping transport residents throughout the home, writing letters, watching television, or even playing checkers.

Volunteering these days is very much in vogue, explained Mrs DeLucia. “What I’ve found here at Ashlar is that it has been an easy sell. There is a good environment here that fosters volunteering.”

And judging by the happy reunions between fellow volunteers, not to mention the unscheduled visits between volunteers and residents, April 12’s cocktail party provided not only a forum for gratitude, but a large picture of why people give their time in this specific way.

“They definitely like to see young faces,” mused Newtown High School senior Sarah Carlson. She has been volunteering at Ashlar since 1995, after her mother planted the idea in her head. Though Sarah admits her earliest trips to the home were mostly on her mom’s suggestion, she soon saw how she could raise the quality of life of those she visited. Soon, trips to Ashlar became habit.

Sarah Ingerman has not been volunteering for long, but in the months since she started last fall, she too has come to appreciate what her visits mean for those living in the home.

“In the beginning it was forced, but now it’s different, because you see how happy the residents are when you come around,” she explained.

For many volunteers, especially those who have been at it for a few years, the rewards for the time they give are paid back by learning a little from the various residents they visit.

Marion Saunders has made several trips to Scotland in her lifetime, though she confessed that none of those journeys proved as education as visiting one of Ashlar’s residents, who happens to be from Scotland. “They all have interesting stories to tell,” said Mrs Saunders.

She, too, had some interesting stories to tell. They were mostly funny tales about experiences she has had with Ashlar residents. A few of her regular residents are real jokesters, Mrs Saunders recalled, which was fine, at least when she knew that they are joking. Often times she did not, which makes for some moments of real confusion, she remarked, laughing.

Morgan Montgomery, a high school sophomore, had to laugh when she thought about spending time visiting Ashlar’s bell choir, which meets once a week. She would often show up to hear practices and performances, and she confided that she could not go a visit without laughing. The talent of the choir made the group “very interesting to watch,” said Morgan.

For all of the smiles such services bring to Ashlar’s volunteers, many choose to give their time for intensely personal reasons. Gene Rosen’s longtime friend and colleague developed Lou Gehrig’s Disease, and for the past six months has lived at Ashlar.

Because Mr Rosen’s friend cannot speak, the two spend time playing games of charades in order to communicate. Mr Rosen felt like he had a personal obligation to spend time with his friend, because they had shared so many good times when they worked together.

“It is such a privilege and so humbling to help someone out who has such a debilitation,” Mr Rosen said.

The efforts of these many volunteers are not lost on the residents.

Emma Johnson, a member of the home’s Residence Council and a participant in the bell choir, admits life would not be the same at Ashlar without volunteers.

“I think they are very essential,” she said. “A lot of people need help putting their closets together, or writing letters, so that makes it nice.”

Dot Quinn, a 14-year resident of Ashlar, agrees. “We couldn’t do without them. I’m not kidding. They do so many things. Some people think they are small things, but they mean a lot.”

Which is why Cheryl Schwartz gives her time at Ashlar: to introduce her children to the idea that even the small things like a smiling face can mean a lot to someone else. She started volunteering ten years ago with her daughter, who at one time attended camp at the home. By volunteering with her daughter, Mrs Schwartz brings a sense of family to Ashlar. “How wonderful it is to visit people whom [often times] don’t have family that visit,” Mrs Schwartz said.

Her presence is also setting a powerful example to her daughter. Mrs Schwartz admitted that early on it was not easy for her then-young daughter to volunteer and see residents at various levels of health. But Mrs Schwartz decided to lead by example, and therefore to experience things right next to her daughter. “It’s important for parents to volunteer with their children,” she said.

Looking around her during the cocktail party, Mrs Schwartz said she will continue to volunteer for a long time, “as long as we are able, we will volunteer here.”