When Bullying Is Tolerated,

The System Is At Fault

To the Editor:

As a teenager growing up in then-sleepy, reasonably peaceful Forest Hills, N.Y., I attended a local, highly-rated middle school just a few blocks from where I lived. During the course of my entire eighth grade year — and for reasons I will still never know (I am now 48) — I was the victim of horrific bullying by 30-plus kids with whom I traveled from class to class; there was no escape, it went on every single day, and all of my teachers made the choice to look the other way. The bullying ended only when the school year did, although it would have ended far earlier had I actually gone through with some of the options I considered to stop the anguish that I suffered while the school looked on and did nothing but blame the bullying on “bad behavior.”

Make no mistake: it was bad behavior. What it was not was acceptable behavior. Every time a child is bullied, tormented, or teased and the system tries to blame it away or doesn’t take it seriously, it’s that system that is at fault: would Newtown High School ignore the complaints filed by Griselle Santos if her son, Angel, was being physically hurt? Most likely not. At the end of the day, the scars that Angel bears from relentless bullying are invisible, but like me, he will carry them for the rest of his life. Frankly, I’m not sure what’s worse: the actual bullying, or the knowledge in his young mind that the school that should be protecting him is doing nothing. This is utterly, painfully unacceptable. Newtown High School needs to put in place a no tolerance program for bullying. Period. It turns my stomach that my taxpayer dollars help fund a top high school that can’t protect its students.

At the end of the day, my bullying experience created in me a level of empathy that I carry with me; Angel Santos will likely develop the same thing. Would that we could say the same for the people who are supposed to protect him once he leaves his home each day. 

Elissa Altman

Webster Place, Newtown                                                April 15, 2012