Honorary Relay For Life Caregiver, Survivor Grateful For Family, Community Support
For this year’s Relay For Life Honorary Caregiver Jack Nahmias and his children Megan and Jonathan, it is about honoring their wife and mom, while attempting to express their immense gratitude to family members and the entire community for the support they received as Debbie Nahmias battled angiosarcoma.
“When Deb got sick, the village came to me. We had the best [doctors] in the world looking after her, along with our amazing in-laws, the understanding of my employer, and a ridiculous amount of support from the community,” Mr Nahmias said in an interview this week. “As a single working father of two, it’s a struggle sometimes, but we are blessed to live in this great town.”
Since her 2008 diagnosis with thyroid cancer at age 21, the Relay’s Honorary Survivor, Lauren Pade, has also sought ways to express thanks and appreciation to family members, friends, and the nurses who not only cared for her, but also inspired her to switch from a planned career in the business world to becoming an RN herself.
“Before my cancer, I hated thinking about doctors and hospitals — even the sight of blood,” Ms Pade told The Newtown Bee. “I was in my senior year of business school, but I made a connection with my nurses as I observed their caregiving. They made me feel safe and comfortable, so you could say getting cancer led me to my true calling.”
Ms Pade said except for some fatigue she chalked up to a demanding college schedule, there was no warning that she was developing papillary thyroid cancer. She certainly did not think her occasional weariness was reason to see a doctor.
But her mother, Judy, was concerned enough to make that fateful but potentially life-saving doctor’s appointment for her daughter. And after a brief exam, a lump in her neck prompted an ultrasound and reassurances that in such a young person, the chances of anything serious were miniscule at best.
“When the biopsy came back, the doctor told me in 30 years practicing it was the first time he ever had a patient testing positive for cancer,” she recalled. “I probably had it for years because it’s a slow growing type of cancer. And even though we caught it early, it had already spread to my lymph nodes.”
Surgery And Radiation
In short order, Ms Pade underwent a surgical procedure at Yale-New Haven Hospital to remove her thyroid, followed by two rounds of iodine radiation treatments to maximize chances of eradicating the disease.
“I don’t remember a lot, it was kind of a blur,” Ms Pade said. “I was in shock — how could this happen to a 21-year-old with no warning and no family history of this type of cancer?”
Although she was told her illness had a high cure rate, Ms Pade does recall going to the Internet and being terrified by all the worst-case outcomes she discovered.
“I did my own research, and I guess it was a case of too much information,” she said.
While she was inspired by her nurses during treatment, the young Newtown resident decided to finish business school.
“But the day after graduation, I began [certified nursing assistant] training, and after three years in that field I went on to nursing school,” she said. Today she works on the cardiac unit at Danbury Hospital.
Every year since her diagnosis, Ms Pade has participated in the Newtown Relay For Life, making the “Survivors’ Lap” alongside many other local residents who fought the disease, and their many caregivers, of which she is now one.
“Our Relay is really inspiring when you see so many people come together — especially for survivors. It gives us hope for the future and a way to celebrate those we’ve lost,” she said. “It’s also a way to say thank you to my friends and family. Without their support, I don’t know what I would have done.”
‘Character-Building Moments’
Over the decade his wife fought and finally lost her battle, Mr Nahmias also was challenged to help care for his father who also was suffering from and eventually succumbed to lung cancer. And there were his two little ones, including a daughter who was born several weeks premature.
“It was a succession of character-building moments, that’s for sure,” he said. “But looking back, I can’t say I have any regrets. We had amazingly compassionate doctors, and our incredible circle of family and friends.”
Debbie Nahmias was first diagnosed in 2002, and similarly to Ms Pade, was told her relatively rare angiosarcoma had a rare rate of recurrence.
“But at 2½ years out, in March of 2005, she was rediagnosed,” he said. “That brought more surgeries and treatments, and after that we all thought she was in pretty good shape.”
That made Debbie’s third diagnosis at the end of 2010 all the more devastating.
“That third time the cancer showed up spreading into her spine, so for the first time we ended up having to go through chemotherapy,” Mr Nahmias said. “It was initially successful at halting the spread, but we were told it was just a matter of time…”
Refocusing, the Relay caregiver added, “She made it almost ten years from her first diagnosis, when our kids were just 3 and 1. Megan turned 13 a week after her mom passed and Jonathan was 11 when she died.”
Mr Nahmias said he is still quite moved recalling how friends and townspeople he never even knew rallied together around his family.
“We were having meals delivered to us for a year,” he said. “We had a huge circle of friends already who would do anything for us. But it was a surreal experience to have that much outpouring of support. Our friends with kids took our kids for extended visits, and through it all, it was Debbie who probably made it easiest on all of us.
“She never complained, we got to go on trips to Disney and to Washington, DC; she wanted us to have as normal a life as possible for the time she had left with us,” Mr Nahmias said. “And we were surrounded and propped up by our support system — our social networks.”
‘Don’t Get Burned Out’
If Mr Nahmias has any advice to offer those going through what he and his family experienced, he says, “Don’t get burned out yourself.”
“In the beginning, I relaxed and recharged watching old TV shows from my childhood like The Waltons,” he recalled. “Somehow, escaping into those old shows soothed me and made me feel more comfortable.”
As computer programmers for IBM, both he and Debbie are also ultimately thankful for their employer’s understanding and flexibility — which allowed Jack to telecommute from wherever Debbie was receiving care or treatment. Debbie was also loyal to the company and continued working until her illness forced her to retire at the end of 2011.
This year’s Relay — which for the unfamiliar, is not a sporting event — is taking place Saturday, June 13, at Newtown High School’s Blue & Gold Stadium. After a decade of success hosting overnight Relays that have raised more than $2.5 million, local volunteers switched gears for 2015, taking advantage of the opportunity to host a more eclipsed event that will begin at 3 pm and end at midnight.
Newtown’s Relay For Life will recognize and celebrate all local cancer survivors and caregivers who give time, love, and support to their friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers facing cancer. The Relay committee is also looking to gather photos (in jpeg format) of friends, colleagues, and loved ones who have lost the battle with cancer, or who are survivors, for the event’s emotionally charged luminarias slide show.
Pictures should be attached and sent to relayforlifeofnewtown@gmail.com. Anyone wishing to form a team, or to just make a personal donation supporting the Newtown Relay, is asked to visit the local event website, relayforlife.org/newtownct.