Everything is, as they say, relative. Circumstances always shape our perceptions. As the Big Kahuna of Relativity, Albert Einstein, pointed out, two minutes sitting on a couch with a pretty girl always seems a lot shorter than two minutes sitting on a hot stove. So I guess it was to be expected that sooner or later Relativity would come into play with regard to the weather. I actually heard someone in a store this week taking their leave by saying, “Enjoy this nice rainy day!”

Fortunately, the rain held off until after last weekend’s big bike race. Among the spectators along the route were First Selectman Herb Rosenthal and his wife, Michelle.

Michelle Rosenthal must have been shocked to see Herb riding on the back of a motorcycle behind the first-place riders at the inaugural Housatonic Valley Classic bike race in Danbury Sunday afternoon. Herb and Michelle watched the race in front of Edmond Town Hall then headed to Danbury to watch the finish. It was there that Herb and Danbury Mayor Gene Eriquez were invited to hop on the back of a couple of Harleys for a close-up view of the action. A hesitant Herb, who hadn’t been on a motorcycle in 30 years, finally agreed to take the ride. And there he was, speeding through the streets of Danbury, helmet and all. As he crossed the finish line, he gave a good-natured wave to his wide-eyed wife.

The bike race may have been big, but not nearly as big as this weekend’s Newtown Soccer Association annual Memorial Day weekend Kick-Off Soccer Tournament. More than 1,000 kids from far and wide playing on 108 teams will be competing on more than a dozen different fields all over town. If you get a chance, go to the nearest soccer field and cheer on your favorite team.

Donna Gorton’s new 8-week old cat almost spent all of Wednesday in the refrigerator. On Wednesday, Donna opened up the refrigerator to get a snack out for her son. She closed the door, brushed her teeth and then returned to the kitchen to hear her cat’s meow. Donna figured she was behind the refrigerator, but then she opened the fridge door and found “Stripes” keeping warm by eating a stick of butter.

Cats weren’t the only ones getting into places where they didn’t belong recently. Herb Rosenthal says he was checking the town-owned Queen Street properties last week, and he discovered some pillows and a mattress in one of the houses there. He called the police and the highway department to secure the house and board up the breached entrance.

A man who was identified only as Tim was flagged down in Sandy Hook by the driver of an 18-wheeler truck driver trying to find The Newtown Bee last week. He told the driver that The Bee was at the top of the hill, but added that the driver’s truck would probably not make it under the Church Hill Road overpass. So Tim got in his car and led the trucker to the Bee’s Church Hill office, via Interstate 84, Wasserman Way and Route 25.

Once the truck driver had gotten to the office, Tim left and stopped at a gas station by Exit 10, where he asked a store employee where Commerce Road was. The trucker had apparently been looking for The Bee’s printing plant on Commerce Road. Feeling badly, Tim returned to the Bee’s Church Hill Road office to let the driver know he took him the wrong way. The driver said he was going to sleep and would find his way in the morning, which I am happy to report he did.

Secretary Nancy Kokoski in the fire marshal’s office was looking forward to watching last week’s season finale of Friends, but while drying a glass in the sink, she cut her finger. Unfazed, she grabbed a towel, put the kids in the car and headed to the hospital for stitches. Before she left, though, Nancy popped in a video into her VCR. There was no way she was going to miss her favorite show.

Sandy Hook will be the place to be this weekend as the Great Pootatuck Race kicks off Saturday at 1 pm. According to organizers, they plan to toss hundreds of little rubber duckies into the water and then watch to see which one crosses the finish line first. If you entered this contest, let me wish you good luck with your duck.

The duck race is being held in conjunction with the Sandy Hook Village Festival Days, which is being put on by Mike Porco and a handful of business owners in the Sandy Hook area. Rides games and food will be the order of the day Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Sandy Hook has never been so much fun!

Alan Clavette was nowhere to be seen earlier this week after the feds dragged him out of town. No it wasn’t the IRS, it was the US District Court. Alan somehow got lucky enough to have his name chosen for jury duty and he was summoned to Bridgeport for a day or two in court. No word on whether or not he actually got picked for a jury.

St John’s Church in Sandy Hook is trying something new – a gourmet donut drive-through – as a fundraiser on Saturday, June 2. Drive through the church parking lot on Washington Avenue between 8:30 am and noon that day and pick up sweet milk donuts, New Orleans-style beignets, French market coffee, and Wolfgang Puck signature coffee.  The rain date is June 9.

I will be back here next week, rain or shine. So get yourself some beignets, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and …

Read me again.