What Is The Message

We Want Our Children To Hear?

To the Editor:

The after-prom party at Mr and Mrs Gissen’s home has stirred up all kinds of controversy. I decided to write a letter to share my thoughts, although admittedly, I do not currently have any children attending the local high school. As a community, we must learn to be acutely aware of the messages we communicate to our children, verbally and otherwise. Therefore, in a legitimate effort to help us help ourselves and those we love, allow me please to share a tactic I learned which makes it easier to prepare and communicate clear rules and messages about controversial issues to my own three children, ages 20, 16, and 12. When at all possible, first consider your family values and all relevant facts and the laws, where applicable. For example, regarding the controversy surrounding the Gissens’ after-prom party, consider the following:

Fact #1: The United States has the highest legal drinking age in the world. While there are those who disagree this law should prevail, the law is what it is, period! Perhaps irrefutable evidence that alcohol is detrimental to developing brains is an underlying reason for this law, I am not sure. What I do know is that statistics show that the younger a person is when he/she starts to drink, the higher the probability that individual will become an alcoholic. I can honestly say I have not yet met an addict who claimed their addiction enhanced their life or the lives of those who love them. Additional research is always in progress and you can learn more online, through MADD, and pertinent hospital programs.

Fact #2: Many children today take prescription drugs for one reason or another. Because combining prescription drugs and alcohol could result in serious injury or even death, as adults we must not assume anything and take it upon ourselves to decide that it is/is not OK to procure alcohol for other people’s children or to condone underage drinking. If your child does take prescription medication, you owe it to your child to discuss the dangers of combining meds and alcohol. Why wait until more tragedies occur?

Fact#3: There is a saying, “The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions.” Unfortunately and regardless of our intentions, when tragedy strikes or negative consequences detrimental to one’s reputation result, it is usually too late to undo the damage. As humans, we have the capability to entertain the potential consequences of our actions before we act! Careful consideration before we act and education are key!

I believe the after-prom party has become such a sensitive issue because many of today’s adults stop at, “Hey, I drank when it was illegal and I turned out OK so what’s the big deal?” The big deal is: binge drinking and underage drinking are serious problems in our schools and college campuses. Until our attitudes change and the messages we choose to deliver to our children become clear, we cannot reasonably expect the situation to improve.

Marianne Noyes-Ryder

11 Pinnacle Drive Newtown                                             May 14, 2007