Walking For The Love Of Matt

By Nancy K. Crevier

On June 7, as the sun sets over the Manhattan skyline, Newtown resident Maureen Owen will kneel down in Brooklyn’s Cadman Plaza, give the shoelaces on her walking shoes one final tug, stand up, and take the first step of the longest walk she has ever taken, literally and figuratively.

Ms Owen, the daughter of longtime Newtown residents Joan and the late James Crick, will join her brother, Michael Crick, his wife, Lisa, and their sons, Will, 18, Ben, 16, and twins Adam and Mitch, 14, and nearly 2,500 other Out Of The Darkness Overnight walkers on a 20-mile fundraising walk that will take them through the heart of Manhattan, the Hudson River Park path, past world-renowned landmarks, through historic neighborhoods, and back over the Brooklyn Bridge to Cadman Plaza.

Their team, For the Love of Matt, is a tribute to the Cricks’ late son and Ms Owens’ nephew, Matt. Out of The Darkness Overnight is a fundraiser for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), the leading not-for-profit organization dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research and education, and to reaching out to people with mood disorders and those impacted by suicide. Every one of the walkers June 7 will be someone whose life has been touched in some way by suicide or severe depression, said Ms Owen.

“Matt was 19 years old when he committed suicide February 27, 2007,” said Ms Owen. “He was my godson, he was my first nephew, and at age 12, he was my man of honor when Cramer and I got married in 2000. I held him when he was only six hours old, and I’ll never forget that. We had a special connection,” she recalled recently. Every year, from the time Matt turned 10, she would take him to New York City to Rockefeller Center, where they would have their picture taken in front of the Christmas tree. “The last time we went was December 15, 2006. He seemed fine. We had a good time,” she said. “Two days before he took his life he was out shopping with his dad and was in a good mood…”

According to the AFSP, suicide is the third leading cause of death among teens and young adults in the United States, and the second leading cause of death among college-age young adults. A suicide attempt is made each minute every day, and 90 percent of those who die by suicide have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder at the time of death.

Matt loved his family, his dogs, his friends, and movies, said his aunt. He was in so many ways a typical teenage boy.

But as he went through his high school years, she noticed some subtle changes in her nephew, as did her brother. “We went on a family trip about five years ago to Hilton Head, and Matt watched TV the whole time and didn’t participate. That was unlike him. And there were attitude changes, but you ask yourself if it is just the teenage years or something else. When kids are suffering, you have to watch them. Matt hid how unhappy he was. I don’t think he really talked to his friends or his brothers,” she said.

His parents keyed in on Matt’s unhappiness, though, she said, and as a high school student he was diagnosed and treated for severe depression.

Matt hated high school, said Ms Owen, but he loved the freedom life offered once he got his driver’s license and could work. “He was industrious, and he worked hard, and once he was at WestConn, he seemed happier. He was a sophomore, majoring in communications and media, when he died,” she said. It was his perfectionist nature that challenged her nephew, she believes. “Everything always had to be just right, even though I would tell him that things aren’t always perfect at first attempt. He was always hard on himself.”

She believes that Matt saw suicide as the only way to make himself feel better. “He didn’t do it to hurt his family,” she said.

“People who don’t suffer from depression don’t always understand,” said Ms Owen. “After his first [suicide] attempt, I did talk to him. We had a very direct connection. Especially with boys, you have to talk in five-minute quips, you know. But talk to them. Pay very close attention. I told Matt he was so bright and beautiful. His mother told me, ‘Kids feel this terrible pain and they don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.’ I did some research about depression, but I didn’t know about the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.”

Her purpose, said Ms Owen, in taking part in the overnight fundraising walk in June, is to raise awareness of the organization. “Unfortunately, it is after you go through something like this that you often find out about the support systems out there,” she said. Having the support and knowledge from the foundation could truly mean the difference between life and death for someone, she said, although it is too late for Matt.

She found out about the Out of The Darkness Overnight walk from one of Matt’s WestConn friends, who walked in Matt’s memory last year. “If there is a silver lining [to Matt’s death], it is that I have gotten to know some of Matt’s friends. They have been kind enough to accept me as a ‘friend’ on their Facebooks. I read about Chelsea’s walk last year on a memorial Facebook page for Matt,” she said.

The AFSP uses donations to fund scientific research, offer educational programs to professionals, educate the public about mood disorders and suicide prevention, promote policies and legislation that impact suicide and prevention, provide programs for survivors, and provide programs and resources for people with mood disorders, and their families. Founded in 1987 by suicide experts, business and community leaders, and suicide survivors, the AFSP since 2000 has invested more than $8 million in new studies. According to information at its website, afsp.org, its members believe that by “publicizing the magnitude of the problems of depression and suicide, [and] advocating for policies and legislation that can help prevent suicide,” the stigma surrounding mental illness and suicide can be eliminated.

“It would be great to raise funds and more awareness of this organization to those who might be struggling today,” said Ms Owen.

The family has set a goal of $10,000 for the walk. To date, they have already raised $8,500. The pledges are not based on the miles walked, said Ms Owen, and the family invites anyone who would like to join them on the walk to sign up by visiting theovernight.org. “I am not a big exerciser. This will be a challenge for me, but I am training some and getting ready. Twenty miles is a long way to walk in one night, but there is a lot of support along the way, so I think I can do it, and I think others will, too,” said Ms Owen.

The walk begins at 7 pm, June 7, in Cadman Plaza in Brooklyn with an opening ceremony and will culminate with a closing ceremony back at the plaza at 5 am, June 8, emphasizing the power to bring suicide and depression out of the darkness. When registering, select the team For the Love of Matt when asked to choose “team walker.”

Ms Owen anticipates that the walk will be hard emotionally and physically, but not as hard as the loss experienced through Matt’s untimely death. “It is hard to process death when someone is so young. I think about Matt every day. It’s very hard,” Ms Owen said.

“I think [Out of The Darkness Overnight] will be such a healing thing to do. I’m told it can be very emotional. You can share your stories and not be afraid to share. I hope that we will be successful in this fundraiser. The more knowledge and resources [about suicide and depression] that you have the more you can do,” she said.

To donate to the Crick/Owen family team For the Love of Matt or to find out more about Out of The Darkness Overnight New York, visit theovernight.org. Online donations will be processed right up until midnight of June 6. Donors wishing to submit offline donations may mail checks made out to AFSP to Maureen Owen, 16 Tamarack Road, Newtown CT 06470. Ms Owen will submit the offline checks to AFSP on June 7 at the walk.