Mailboxes Put The Fun In Functional

By Nancy K. Crevier

“Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

That might be true in most cases, but the unofficial motto of the United States Postal Service does not always hold true when hooligans who are up to shenanigans knock mailboxes along the rural roads of Newtown from their posts. A mailbox askew is a challenge, at the very least, and often an impossibility, for mail carriers to overcome and complete deliveries.

Not receiving mail in a timely fashion because the mailbox is at half-mast is only one inconvenience for those who fall prey to a pounding. For most victims of the recently popular pastime of “mailbox bashing” it is also somewhat costly to replace the post and battered box, and for those residents whose mailboxes represent a personal expression, the assault on the mail receptacle can be disheartening.

Not only are mailboxes prone to the hazard of springtime high jinks, but town plows clearing winter roads cause the demise of many a mailbox hidden in a drift of snow. Other times, it is merely the passage of years that renders a mailbox unusable.

 Nonetheless, the creativity of Newtowners, it seems, is not deterred by the threat of destruction. A tour about our town reveals a variety of mailboxes individualized to either protect from plow and plunder or simply for fun and fancy.  

There are large mailboxes that line the roads, there are small boxes. Mailboxes are grouped together beneath a single shelter outside of multiple home dwellings. Mailboxes are posted upon piles of rocks, blocky timbers, and are perched upon wobbly iron rods poked into the ground. There are double-decker mailboxes that accommodate newspapers, as well as mail.

Some are painted vivid colors, some are artistically decorated or hand painted. Some are round, and some are square. Mailbox jackets of weatherproof paper or cloth lend a seasonal appearance to many local boxes. Mailboxes that echo their owners’ personalities and sports teams’ affiliations line the roads. Whimsical shapes echo the sentiments of homeowners and businesses and warrant a second glance when passing by.

Mailbox owners divide between those who have thrown in the towel and are making do with what is left after numerous assaults by mankind and nature, and those who have gone to great lengths to protect their boxes. There are mailboxes that have weathered beatings, defiantly listing to one side, held together with yards of duct tape and sheer willpower. Bungee cords, stretched taut and intricately twisted, bind others to their bases. Rusted, dented, bent over to a discouraging angle, other mailboxes permanently yawn at the mail carrier, the doors long torn off or left hanging by a thread.

On the other hand, posts festooned with multicolored reflective lights warn motorists that they are coming upon a roadside mailbox. Solid boards barricade boxes from man or machine, as do iron posts strategically placed to deter destructive tendencies. Yet other mailboxes are sheltered within carefully crafted shields and sturdy stands designed to foil passing plows and wayward delinquents. Suspended by chains, there are mailboxes around town that defy the power of the plow, swinging easily above the road with any passing blow.

Fortunately, according to Hawleyville Post Office sales associate Rich Riscitto, there are no postal regulations regarding the mailbox itself. It can be any color, material, shape, or size; however, he said, this is a case where bigger is better. Too small of a box will not adequately accommodate mail.

The height of the mailbox is restricted, though, he said. “The height should be 41 to 45 inches from the bottom of the box to the ground and the box should be set six to eight inches from the curb.”

Will the mail carier get out and measure? Probably not, said Mr Riscitto, but the mail carrier does need to be able to reach into the box conveniently from the truck. Mail carriers do not have to deliver mail to boxes that are clearly too high, too low, or too far from the curb.

Take a look around. Like summertime blossoms, mailboxes spring from the curbsides and lend a cheerful air to our town.