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BRIDES: Bachelor Parties: Steeped In Tradition, But Stepping In New Directions

(with cuts)

By Joanne Greco Rochman

Who can forget that joyous, light-hearted prenuptial scene in My Fair Lady,

when Eliza Doolittle's father asks his cronies to help him celebrate his last

night of freedom? He asks them to "pull out the stopper" and make his final

drink "a whopper." He also begs his drinking buddies to "Get Me To The Church

On Time."

The scene and the song pay tribute to the long tradition of the bachelor

party, at one time commonly called a "stag," but now often referred to as the

bachelor "bash." Of course, Mr Doolittle and his drinking pals didn't have to

worry about driving anywhere after their drinking bouts. Today, there are many

new options for celebrating this time-honored male tradition.

If you trace the origin of "bachelor party" in the Oxford English Dictionary,

you will come up with a definition that essentially means a party for men

only, which is distinct and unique because it marks the end of a

bridegroom-to-be's bachelorhood. Town & Country used the term in 1902, after

the turn of the last century, when a "bachelor dinner" was given in honor of a

man about to be married.

A bachelor dinner was quite an event, with either the prospective

father-in-law or the best man making the arrangements. According to some

sources, the parties focused on drinking because once the man was married, it

was understood that he would never again have any extra money for drinking.

Essentially, the prospective groom would go from financial independence to

complete financial accountability via the marriage ceremony.

At the turn of the century and a new millenium, the tradition of bachelor

parties still lives on, but with a lot of variations. In spite of all the

ribbing, roasting and toasting of the bachelor, the bachelor dinner party

affords men the opportunity of getting together and enjoying an evening of

socializing, male bonding, and reminiscences.

Though historically celebrated on the eve of a bachelor's wedding day, it is

now quite accepted and quite preferred to celebrate several weeks before the

wedding. The focus on drinking seems to be well entrenched in the bachelor

party tradition, but by the early 1950s, even Playboy advocated diverting the

focus from drinking to eating by serving a complete meal after the second

round of drinks.

In order to successfully divert the attention from drinking to eating, a

substantial dinner of irresistible offerings was recommended. This included

everything from thick, hearty bean soups to extra thick shell steaks, the

premise being that men love to eat, even more than they enjoy drinking.

Beefsteak is the traditional meat course at bachelor dinners, and it has been

served in cigar smoke-filled club rooms, hotel suites and firehouse halls.

Today, the responsibility for arranging a bachelor party is given to the best

man, who along with the ushers and a gathering of friends help the prospective

groom celebrate his last days of bachelorhood. Instead of the main event

centering around "getting wasted," many young men today are opting for more

meaningful and pleasurable ways of celebrating.

All-day cookouts with a focus on competitive games is gaining popularity at

private country clubs and public parks. Everything from one-day golf

tournaments to baseball games and volleyball seem to fit the bill for male

get-togethers.

Also gaining popularity with the high-tech crowd of today's young men is a

"virtual reality" romp. These men prefer to spend the evening with pizza and

beer at a virtual reality arcade or billiards club. The cheers and shouting

accompanying the games enhance male camaraderie. Of course, designated drivers

come along for the fun.

Designated drivers are a must in today's scheme of things when it comes to

celebrating with drink. As a matter of fact, one new trend that seems to be

gaining in popularity is the limousine or bus-driven bash. The best man and a

group of the future groom's friends hire a limo or minivan, complete with

driver, for the night.

Because many of today's young men have reached a higher state of awareness

than their predecessors, they often opt for driving from one favorite oasis to

another without stopping off at a club that features "exotic dancers" or

strippers.

A New Trend: Casino Night

By far, one of the newest trends to come upon the bachelor party scene is that

of the casino night. Regionally, the two casinos operating in Connecticut make

it possible for men to celebrate by eating, drinking, and playing games of

chance under one roof. Here's how it works:

The best man arranges for a group of friends to meet at one of the casinos.

Each member of the party contributes a specified amount of money to be given

to the guest of honor for the purpose of playing games of chance. Together

they spend the night eating, drinking and playing, and, depending on which

casino they choose, they can spend the night at the same casino or hop a

convenient shuttle to a nearby hotel.

Foxwoods Resort Casino has 315,310 square feet of gaming space. There are 370

table games, including 75 in the casino's poker room alone. There are 5,700

slot machines spread throughout the casino, which is located in Ledyard.

There are also 24 food and beverage outlets, ranging from gourmet dining

establishments to fast food favorites. Some of the restaurants are open around

the clock.

The casino also has a live performance center, which seats as many as 4,000

people. There is also a 48-seat Turbo Ride with Cinetropolis, where seats with

six-direction motion move in sync with the action being shown on an oversized

screen. At 9 pm, the theatre, with its wrap-around screen, converts into a

high-tech video dance club with live entertainment (and no cover, no minimum).

The resort features an on-site hotel with more than 800 rooms.

Mohegan Sun, in Uncasville, features 3,000 slot machines and more than 190

gaming tables. It also flaunts a 10,000-square-foot Wolf Bar, a/k/a Wolf Den,

which looks like a cave or wolf's den and offers state-of-the-art

entertainment. (In 1997, The Wolf Den made history as the site of the "Biggest

Wedding Under the Sun," when 95 couples exchanged wedding vows on Valentine's

Day.)

For beer enthusiasts, The Micro-Brew Pub, a favorite among the young crowd,

offers fresh-brewed beers prepared on-site. The Bow & Arrow, a sports bar at

Mohegan Sun, features sports themes, scoreboards and big screen TVs, congenial

bartenders, snacks and noshes.

Mohegan Sun has easy access to nearby hotels with frequent shuttles.

Regardless of where an event is being held, there's no need for anyone to

drive home after a night of celebrating.

While the manner for celebrating bachelor parties ranges from nights of

debauchery to sky diving expeditions and wilderness treks, one thing is for

sure: the night of celebration is no longer the night before the wedding.

Considered far too risky and exhausting, the bachelor party or dinner should

be given well in advance of the wedding. One week prior to the wedding is most

popular.

While arrangements for the bachelor bash falls within the duties of the best

man, it is the prospective groom who ultimately decides upon the sort of event

he feels comfortable attending. The best man takes his cue from the future

groom and like Eliza Doolittle's father requested, sees to it the groom makes

it to the church on time.