Commentary—

Slipping Them The Old Thanksgiving ‘Mickey’

By John Voket

I guess it’s quite a testament to pop culture icons when most of the people you talk to about the tryptophan phenomenon launch into long-winded recollections of their favorite Seinfeld episode. But my current research into this often used and frequently misunderstood amino acid actually resulted from a recent and casual mention to my editor that I might like to reactivate my opinion column, first enjoyed (or loathed) by readers when I was the editor of several weekly newspapers in another part of the state some years ago.

He appropriately pointed out that opinion columns touching upon localized and politically charged subjects like the recent Hawley School HVAC debacle, the woefully poor (and notoriously unmotivated) low voter turnouts for town elections or runaway kiwis, might give the impression that I couldn’t maintain that vital “reporter’s impartiality” I have become so notorious for in my short tenure here at The Bee.

So on Monday when he took me aside to discuss an idea I had about writing a humorous take on the alleged sleep-inducing chemical most commonly associated with this week’s national holiday, I was more than pleased when he finally acquiesced to converting this work in progress from an unbiased health article to a column, which will play out here presently.

I guess my first impression that something different and special occurred on Thanksgiving, besides my Aunt Nell’s annual pie baking marathon, came as a child when I observed that every year, after our generous repast, most of the adult males in my family including my father, John, my Uncle John and my Uncle Jack (who we stopped calling John for obvious reasons) all quickly dropped off into unconsciousness with their belts unbuckled.

As the mealtime transitioned into what I now refer to as “the intermission before dessert,” I would observe a rite that consisted of each of my adult male relations (all named John, and once in awhile, Raymond) staggering from dining room to living room aiming for the closest piece of comfortable furniture they could find. They would then hurl themselves into an armchair or loveseat, belts unbuckled, and immediately lapse into unconsciousness.

This amusing tableau was often accompanied by an almost immediate chorus of snoring not unlike a Crosby, Stills and Nash concert… if they happened to all be asleep at the time. And who would buy a ticket for that…. unless you’re really a fan…. but I digress.

As I grew from childhood to adolescence, any variation to these annual rituals seldom strayed far beyond those aforementioned behaviors. But, as I became older and wiser to the ways of the world, I did start to develop an idea that the staggering and unconsciousness might have more to do with the vytistas that was being sampled in my grandmother’s kitchen before dinner than the generous servings of turkey meat being consumed at our holiday table.

You see, coming from a long and esteemed lineage of Eastern Europeans, it was a solemn pact in our home that the holiday season would not be allowed to commence unless my grandmother, affectionately known as the “Lithuanian Gravy Queen of Waterbury,” along with a cast of her favorite relatives, whipped up a batch of this grain alcohol-fueled aperitif.

This batch of vytistas, apparently named in honor of Lithuania’s White Knight whose image is prominent on the country’s national crest, did after all feature clear or white 195 proof grain alcohol as its most prominent ingredient. In fact it was an integral part of the vytistas assembly process for the elder most helper in my Nana’s kitchen to gingerly introduce the most stringent drop of bitters into the concoction before a generous amount of pure honey was added to help make the potion “go down easy,” as my dad used to say.

Then for the next hour or two, a gathering throng of adult male relatives would show up and trek through our kitchen sampling the brew as dad, or one of my uncles or cousins, stirred the mixture lovingly. It was during those memorable interludes that I learned how during the depression and prohibition, legend had it that a teapot full of vytistas would be kept warming on the stovetop or steam radiator, handily available to any of the extended cast of family or neighbors who might venture in on a freezing winter’s day.

I’ve since learned this Lithuanian moonshine is actually a poor man’s variation on a bona fide homemade liquor known in a more complex form as krupnikas. This actual Lithuanian distillation is purported to contain a medley of orange and lemon peels, nutmeg, black pepper, vanilla, and saffron with enough pure honey to kill off an entire mountain village full of diabetics.

So throughout the ensuing years, when I would occasionally hear stories about the mysterious tryptophan-laced turkey meat dispatching legions of holiday visitors to armchairs and loveseats across the nation, I naively assumed everybody was, in reality, simply twisted on some form of parochial Thanksgiving Mickey of their own design.

But thanks to my esteemed editor, and the hours of tireless research I’ve performed in recent days (thank you, Google!), I have become convinced that this legitimate chemical may very well contribute to the postmeal twilight sleep of millions of Americans every Thanksgiving. I learned that tryptophan supplements were once used as a safe, inexpensive and effective means to treat depression, insomnia, weight gain, migraines and anxiety.

After a period of time during which the amino acid in manufactured form was removed from the market because it apparently killed a few people, tryptophan is now available to the public again in its 5-HTP (5-hydroxy-tryptophan) form, which studies have shown may be helpful for insomnia, anxiety reduction, depression, weight loss and migraines.

More recent research on the chemical even has scientists and medical authorities suggesting that the introduction of tryptophan in any capacity could help boost the immune system. According to an article on News-Medical.net, in an animal model, researchers at Stamford University found that certain tryptophan metabolites — molecules formed as the body breaks down the amino acid — work as well as any other existing medicines to alleviate multiple sclerosis symptoms.

In multiple sclerosis, the immune system launches an attack against the myelin sheath, the fatty cells that insulate neurons. The resulting variety of neurological disorders affects more than 2.5 million people worldwide.

So whether you’re into “occasional experimentation,” or you’re simply into it for that dopey contact high before dessert each Thanksgiving, go ahead and treat yourself to an extra helping of dark meat. It certainly won’t result in one of those temple-throbbing vytistas hangovers, and it actually might be good for you!