Newtown Interfaith Council (NIC) finalized plans for its annual 12/14 Service of Remembrance at its Tuesday, December 9 meeting.

The public gathering gives people of all faiths and those in need of comfort a time to honor those who died at Sandy Hook School on December 14, 2012. This year’s event was held on Sunday, December 14.

NIC members started planning for the service in their last several meetings. With only a few days left to prepare by the Tuesday afternoon meeting, Newtown Congregational Church Lead Pastor Matt Crebbin said the service would mostly stay the same.

As has been the case for previous gatherings, Crebbin said faith leaders from local religious communities would guide people by reading from sacred texts and offer prayers for the community. Attendees would also get a moment for individual reflection, as well as the option to light a candle of remembrance.

Crebbin and his fellow NIC members spoke about the different sacred text readings they could use for the event.

The main theme they agreed on for the event was “light.” NIC member Dr John Woodall said the word light in the Baha’i faith is primarily associated with unity.

Crebbin said this is especially important now because, right after tragedy, there is this “rallying of community” where people come together and are looking for ways to support their neighbors.

“And then there’s kind of an unraveling over time ... it’s this frazzling and pulling apart of community,” Crebbin said. “You can’t just say, ‘Hey, let’s be unified,’ you have to think of how, 13 years later, we continue to practice the ongoing work of reconciliation.”

Love Has a Home Here Founder Bill Donaldson said it is a community healing in many ways, not just from the shooting, but from other volatile events happening in the world.

Crebbin said they have to somehow articulate that it is hard work, but it is grace work.

“It’s blessing work. It’s actually what we all want, it’s something that we’re hungry for,” Crebbin continued. “It felt like a vast challenge in the early days ... Our hope in the future is rooted because we can turn to the past and find the times where God has sustained us.”

To that end, Crebbin said they retell the Exodus story because it is a story that reminds people how God was there in the past and thus will be present with us in the future. Shining that light from history, he said, can light the way for the future.

Parent Connection

Former Newtown Parent Connection Executive Director Dorrie Carolan spoke to NIC members at their meeting. Carolan said she wanted to reach out because they have had an influx of people calling for help, coming to group support programs, or experiencing relapses.

This past October, she said, was probably the busiest month the organization has had in awhile.

“I keep retiring and then I end up having to come back,” Carolan said. “But we just wanted to offer our services to the churches.”

Carolan said Newtown Parent Connection runs three different hope and support groups in Newtown, Middlebury, and Milford.

These meetings offer support, guidance, and resources to parents and caregivers of loved ones facing challenges with substance use and addiction. Each one is facilitated by a licensed therapist in a caring and confidential environment.

Carolan said they also run a bereavement support group, which provides a supportive, compassionate space for anyone who has lost a loved one to substance use or other tragic circumstances.

Beyond that, Carolan said Newtown Parent Connection has been doing a lot of work in Newtown Public Schools. The organization got Chris Herren, a former NBA player, to share his story of addiction and recovery at Newtown High School (NHS).

They also got Tricia Dahl, a research representative from Yale School of Medicine, to visit both NHS and Newtown Middle School and talk about vaping with children. Newtown Parent Connection, Carolan said, is already working on programs for next year.

Carolan asked if any of them would be willing to have something at their church or simply mention Newtown Parent Connection’s services.

“Everything is free of charge,” Carolan continued. “We will help people get their loved one into treatment, navigate insurance, so whatever we can do to help them ... We’re here for the community.”

Woodall asked Carolan about the scope of what Newtown Parent Connection covers, whether that be addiction or being parents to a loved one suffering from substance use. Carolan said they talk about how “if you’re on a plane and that plane is going down, you have to take care of yourself first.”

“There’s not much we can do with what the person who’s using substances is doing, but ... we teach people different ways for them to work with their loved one and for them to get healthy,” Carolan said.

What happens, she said, is that one addict can “bring the whole family down” with the volatile nature of addiction. As such, Carolan said they give people baby steps each week in order to help their loved ones who are suffering.

“It’s hard. It’s a different way of parenting, but boundaries are really important, and that’s something we really stress,” Carolan told the group. “So please feel free to reach out to us or let us know if anyone needs help.”

Reporter Jenna Visca can be reached at jenna@thebee.com.