There have been so may black bear sightings in Newtown lately, I’m afraid the boss is going to hire one of them to write a column.

Henry Hull saw one in his backyard on Sanford Road, and then Monroe residents Robert and Sandra Scott saw one on Currituck Road, which is about a mile and a half away, as the bear lumbers. It could be the same bear, who knows? Fortunately my exclusive correspondent, Vanilla, the polar cat from Parmalee whose scratchings you have read before in this spot, keeps a detailed account of everything that goes on in her neck of the woods, which happens to sit squarely between Currituck and Sanford roads. Here’s her latest report:

Dear Mountain Cat,

Listening through a snoozy haze to my humans natter at cocktail hour the other evening, I suddenly heard, “Darling, there’s a bear.” The other human said, “I don’t see a bear in the woods, Dear.” “Not in the woods, Darling, On the lawn.”

 “Grab the cat!”

 Before I knew it I was scooped out of my wicker chair and bundled indoors, where we watched, through thin glass, an enormous black bar with a tan muzzle walk swiftly across the back lawn, jump a stone wall and a garden, skip across a stream and head up the near lawn straight at the house. He was huge. He was as big as the humans’ cousin from Arkansas who weighed six-hundred pounds. And he flowed like water across the ground, almost as gracefully as yours truly

 He saw the humans through the glass and came closer. Then he saw me guarding them, and he ran away, through a garden and the deer fence and back into woods, which were suddenly filled with black shadows everywhere we looked.

 My humans decided not to cook their salmon on the charcoal grill and went out for pizza, leaving me on patrol. Next day, when I went out to protect them while they repaired the deer fence, we discovered that even though Mr Bear had entered through it and exited (hurriedly, fleeing me) he caused absolutely no damage. He didn’t step on any flowers in the garden. Nor did he leave a single footprint. But he was here all right. I stood guard all day and marked my territory (in ways that you and I know about and don’t have to discuss) and he has not dared come back.

Best wishes,

Vanilla, Queen White Cat of Parmalee Hill Swamp

It sounds to me like it might be a good idea to carry a big stick if you are going to be walking in the woods this fall. Fortunately, I know where you can get a nice one. On Saturday and Sunday, Carol and Wayne Smith will be in Somers, N.Y., where they will be participating in Artworks Westchester. Wayne is also known as “The Grizzly Woodsmith”; his carved works began with walking sticks and have evolved into award-winning carvings of animals, Native Americans, Santa figures, wizards and more. Some of the pieces are left as is, some are given a glazed finish, and others are hand painted by Carol. The Smiths will be setting up shop — and demonstrating some of their work — during the event at Lasdon Park & Arboretum, on Route 35. The show runs from 10 am until 6 pm on Saturday, 10 to 5 pm Sunday, and admission is $7 for adults, $7 seniors and students, free for ages 10 and under. Call 800-834-9437 or visit ArtworksWestchester.com for more show info.

A number of lucky residents can say they were the among the first of the year to own the 2006 Newtown Woman’s Club GFWC, Inc ornament that was available in front of the C.H. Booth Library on Main Street during Monday’s parade. This year’s pewter ornament depicts the A.G. Baker Building in Hawleyville. If you missed your opportunity to purchase an ornament Monday, Joy’s Hallmark at Sand Hill Plaza, The Drug Center on Church Hill Road, Lexington Gardens, the clerk’s office in Edmond Town Hall, and C.H. Booth Library have the collectible ornament available for purchase. Ornaments from previous years are available at the library, as well. All of the funds raised through the sale of the ornaments go to support local charities, so it is $10 well spent.

If you can’t get enough of those ornaments, you should know that the Newtown United Methodist Church has unveiled a limited edition pewter ornament that depicts the church and the adjoining Wesley Learning Center school building. The ornaments are also available for $10 each, with all profits going directly to The Whitman Scholarship. That fund, funded by NUMC Memorial Fund, offers tuition money to church members who may have financial needs and want to send their children to the learning center. The ornaments, which would be nice gifts for church members as well as current or former Wesley students, are available from Barb Carlson. Give her a call at the church office, 426-9998.

Newtown artists, one a musician and the other a woodcarver, are heading out of town this weekend and are hoping some friends and fellow residents might join them. Joseph Hanlon, the Sandy Hook resident and co-founder of The Bearcats Jazz Band, will be performing with the band on Sunday, September 10, at The Southeast Church in Brewster, N.Y. Showtime is 3 pm and admission is a $10 donation for adults, $8 for students and seniors. The church is off Route 22, in the former Old Southeast Church building constructed in 1794 — the oldest place of worship in Putnam County.

I’m sorry to report that legend Olympic decathlete Bob Mathias died this past week. Many Newtowners got to know Bob when he came to town 30 years ago to help dedicate the Jenner Stadium at the high school.

On a happier note, Jim and Sue Shpunt plan to celebrate their September anniversary this year with a nine-day cruise. The Shpunts have been married for 35 years.

Most people think that Town Historian Dan Cruson gets most of his history from the old and brittle back issues of The Newtown Bee in the basement of the Booth Library, but sometimes Dan can be lured out into the open and back into the present when there is history in the making. The New York Times caught him out of his lair at the Labor Day Parade witnessing a close encounter between Senator Joe Lieberman and his Democratic challenger Ned Lamont. The two contenders flank Dan in a photo that appeared in the Times on Tuesday.

I’ll leave the landmark events to Dan; I’ll continue my chronicle of those events history is likely to forget. For the next chapter of this little saga, be sure to…

Read me again.