Fundraiser For A Friend Is Personal For One Newtown Mom

By John Voket

It is difficult to imagine a close friend losing her young child suddenly, and equally unimaginable for that friend to lose her husband without warning. But when both horrifying tragedies occur within just a few months, it takes a very special group of friends to come together to begin helping to pick up the pieces.

One of those special friends is right here in Newtown, and she is hoping to inspire other Newtown neighbors touched by this tragic story to pitch in to help her friend, a Naugatuck grade school teacher by the name of Allison Cabezas.

Cate Succow met Allison and her son Nathaniel about two years ago in a toddler group they attended together. 

“My son Zachary is about the same age as her Nate,” Ms Succow told The Bee. “I remember being heartbroken for Allison back in January when I received the news that she and her husband, Marc, lost their newborn baby, Lucy, to SIDS after having her home for only a few days.  I have two children myself and know how worried I was when my oldest was hospitalized at about 1 but I could not imagine what I would do If I ever lost one of them.” 

So the Newtown resident and about 20 other mothers and close friends quickly banded together to come to the family’s aid.  Many attended the funeral for Lucy, and started a collection for the family.

With the money they raised, a memorial stepping stone in honor of baby Lucy was presented to the family. 

“The stone was a perfect idea since they live in a condo, they could easily bring it along should they ever move,” Ms Succow said. 

The friends all hosted a breakfast for Allison and presented her with the stone and additional donations they collected to help with related expenses. 

Months went by and, according to Jackie Lucas, another friend and event organizer, things were starting to look up for the Naugatuck family.

“At first, Allison was unable to return to her job as a first grade teacher, adding financial stress to a family already struggling with the immense grief of losing a child,” Ms Lucas recalled. “Then, in July, Allison and her husband Marc were overjoyed to announced she was expecting their third child, which is due in March 2009.”

But on the morning of September 14, the excitement of bringing this new life into the world was dulled and Allison’s world was once again shattered when she awoke to discover Marc had died in his sleep without warning.

Suddenly, at 30 years old, their friend Allison was a widow and single mother of a toddler with a new baby girl due in just a few months.

“I remember the moment so clearly,” Ms Succow said. “I received an e-mail that Allison’s husband had passed away suddenly in the night at the age of 30 and was without life insurance. I hadn’t even finished reading the whole letter when I ran upstairs crying to call my husband.  I really felt sad for Allison when she lost the baby, but now her husband as well? I just couldn’t believe what I had heard.”

Again, her friends reconnected, forming a tightly-knit support network to do whatever they could for their friend.

“While Allison was forced to return to work the week following her husband’s death because she has to provide a life for her son and her unborn baby,” Ms Lucas continued. “Allison has not yet paid all of her daughter’s burial expenses, and she was pressed to fund her husband’s funeral.”

In an attempt to help Allison, Nate, and her unborn little girl, the circle of friends including Ms Succow and Ms Lucas have extended their efforts to the various communities where they live. 

“We are collecting monetary donations, raffle/silent auction prizes, and are encouraging all who can to come to the ziti dinner we are having,” Ms Succow said.

This circle of friends is holding a ziti dinner to benefit Allison’s family, November 14, at The Unitarian Universalist Church of Greater Bridgeport, which is located at 96 Chapel Street in Stratford.

“We are confident that this benefit can help with the financial challenges the Cabezas family is facing,” Ms Succow said.

“The 20-plus women in our mothers group are from several towns throughout the valley area and New Haven County,” Ms Lucas added. “We met and became friends more than two years ago after giving birth at Griffin Hospital in Derby.”

Thanks to this fundraiser for a friend, Ms Succow hopes the help she receives can free Allison of her financial burden, and let her focus on what is most important,  grieving for her husband and caring for her family.

For more information on the cause, and to learn how to help, visit a website dedicated to the friends’ of Ms Cabezas effort at: http://sites.google.com/site/benefitdinner.