Technology Is Not All Hearts And Roses

When It Comes To Romance

By Nancy K. Crevier

We have come a long way from the days of cutting out paper hearts from red construction paper and gluing them to a doily to create a personal Valentine’s Day card. Now, along with the thousands of greeting cards available in stores, secret lovers have the option of texting a message (the nonedible version of the Conversation Heart), sending greetings via IM, or messaging a friend on his or her Facebook wall, or expressing true love with the e-card.

But Jerry Farrell, Jr, Connecticut’s commissioner of Consumer Protection, warns in a recent press release “scammers are getting ready to romance you into parting with some of your hard earned money.”

One email scam involves an email requesting you to log in and reenter your credit card in order to have those flowers delivered that you ordered for your beloved. If indeed you have ordered flowers, go to the florist’s website or call the florist directly to confirm if there is a problem. Chances are, the email is playing on your heartstrings in hopes you will divulge your personal information.

Be careful opening any e-cards that you receive, Mr Farrell cautions. Antivirus software should be armed, and all security updates current. Look out for messages that require you to “update your Flash player” in order to view the card. If you think this is really a Valentine from someone you know, go to get.adobe.com/flashplayer/ and download the update from there. Do not click on the link from the sender, unless you want to risk installing spyware onto your computer.

Delete any anonymous e-card, and do not click on links or attachments unless you are 100 percent certain you know the source. Never, never, never give out personal information. If you think you have been the victim of a scam, contact the Federal Trade Commission at ftc.gov, and notify the local police.

Valentine wishes are not the only area of romance that has been hijacked by technology. As lives get busier, social situations may become fewer, and many turn to online matchmaking to meet the love of his or her life. This has its risks, cautions Mr Farrell. “Scam artists often create fake profiles designed to match a certain kind of person whom they think will fall for their ploy,” he said.

Even if your paramour-to-be is not trying to scam you, be warned that all may not be as is it seems in print. So true, so true, laments one local resident. “After chatting with a young man on Match.com for more than a week or so and having seen his pics on his profile, I decided to meet him for a dinner. When I arrived, he was not even close to the photograph he had posted. It was outdated by 15-plus years,” she said. Nonetheless, she decided to stay for dinner. “After a few drinks, he explained to me he is really into music. He asked me to clap my hands. So I lightly clapped. He corrected me by saying, ‘No, I mean clap your hands as if you were at a concert of your favorite band.’ I clapped very loudly….” She excused herself, not to return, when she discovered that a woman clapping was a big turn on for this computer date.

A computer date scammer will slowly groom a relationship, said Mr Farrell, building trust in order to steal money. Upon organizing a first meeting, your new love may not have enough money for the trip and ask you to wire funds, or a sudden illness or hospitalization of a relative may require you to hand over your money to help. Using the time factor and playing on a soft heart can be a financial downfall for the victim.

She was not out any money, but money turned out to be an issue with this Newtown woman’s computer date: “He asked if he could take me to the movies. As old-fashioned as I am, I guess I genuinely thought he was taking me out for the evening. I had no cash on me at all,” she said. What surprises awaited her, from the date’s movie selection of Romeo and Juliet (“I warned him it was more of a chick flick, but he insisted….”) to his ordering just one ticket at the cashier. “I was floored,” she said. Of course, he gallantly offered to drive her to the nearby bank so she could get her own cash, and back to the theater to get her ticket. The icing on the cake, however, was when her new date stood up ten minutes into the film and screamed, “This movie sucks! We are so out of here!” She did have to leave with her ride, but the embarrassment was “beyond belief.” It was a lesson learned, however: she does not go on dates without enough cash to get her by.

Then there was the computer date with the toe fetish encountered on a match made in techno heaven…. “I decided to delete his account and never make contact with him again,” said this computer dater.

Be careful of scams that hurt your heart and empty your pocket book, said Mr Farrell. “If you fall [for a scam] you may be dealing with heartache, financial loss, and wounded pride.” Common sense, good friends, and traditional methods may prove to be the best way to ensure that Valentine’s Day is all hearts and roses — and not a costly social blunder.