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Where Are The Crackpots?

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Where Are The Crackpots?

To the Editor:

I write to complain about a disturbing trend in our town which is all too clearly reflected in these Letters to the Editor. Week after week, I suffer through one pleasant, reasoned epistle after another. “Thanks to so and so for helping my family and I.” “The raffle to benefit such and such could not have been more fun.” “My favorite story about Newtown is blah, blah, blah.”

To quote former presidential candidate Bob Doyle, “Where is the outrage?” Where are the crackpot letter writers who make the letters section the most enjoyable part of the paper?

Where are the raging nut jobs protesting the town’s lack of action on their particular delusions? How about some neighborhood feuds? Someone’s dog has to be biting or defecating somewhere in this town.

If not rage, how about some authentic small town delusions. Has Newtown lost its ability to grow fruit resembling major historic figures? Do obscure saints no longer manifest their images in mold stains on the sides of barns? At the very least, can’t someone claim that an unrecognized religious personality has cured some minor illness (“Prayer to St Vitus cured by athletes foot”)?

Fellow citizens of Newtown, awake! There is not time to lose. Take pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and heed my desperate plea. Enough of tolerance, reason, and compassion. Complain! Rage! Hallucinate!

Either that or The Bee should replace the guy who writes the Letters to the Editor with someone a little more volatile.

Regards,

Dennis Gibbons

PS – I promise that any responses to my letter will be met with venom, idiotic incomprehension, and self-delusion. I may even throw in misspellings and bad grammar.

Pocono Road, Newtown                       May 25, 2001

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