The Cat Behind The Mountain

By Nancy K. Crevier

It is a painful thing when one realizes he or she is a FOM — Friend Of Mountain, the cat who paws through the scrap bucket of Newtown each week and picks out random bits to publish in his weekly column, “Top of the Mountain.” It means that every chat with the reporter through whom the late Mountain channels must be prefaced with either “By the way, this is not for Mountain,” or “Say, this would be great for Mountain,” in order to avoid potentially embarrassing information being aired to all of the town. For Mountain has few scruples. All is fair in love and “Top of the Mountain.”

As a matter of fact, Newtown Bee Publisher R. Scudder Smith confessed in the original oral history book Newtown Remembered, by Andrea Zimmerman, Dan Cruson, and Mary Maki, that the column took root just so those not newsworthy, but deliciously interesting or funny bits of information had a place in the paper. He saw it as a throwback to the early days of the paper when local “tweets” covered the front page.

“I think the only humor we have in the paper is probably Mountain,” Mr Smith said in the interview for the 2002 book. “I think we need more… I think [having silly things in the paper] is good,” he said. And the cat is happy to comply.

Two questions do arise frequently, though: “Who is Mountain?” and “Why a cat?”

Dogs prevail in the 5 Church Hill Road office of The Newtown Bee. Any visitor is quickly aware that golden retrievers Rosé and Starr rule the roost, joined in late 2010 by puppy Tique, a chocolate Lab.

Dog toys are strewn about the office floors, large food bowls occupy the floor space next to the couch in the lobby, and on more than one occasion, Bee guests have only begrudgingly been given a seat on said couch, as Starr reluctantly slips to the floor.

Not a catnip mouse is in sight, and not a single bowl of cream is set beneath a desk. The hacking of a hairball being coughed up is never heard. There is no sign of a cat in residence.

Who is this mysterious Mountain, indeed?

Mountain was a cat owned by Mr Smith and his wife, Helen, in the late 1970s and 1980s. The black and white cat was quite personable, but preferred to stalk his own yard rather than the many rooms of the office at 5 Church Hill Road. Lolling about The Newtown Bee office space was a dog’s job.

 Mr Smith realized the cat’s astute demeanor, though, and when Tiquer, the Smiths’ dog responsible for the “Pooch Paws” column, retired (posthumously), Mountain was promoted to Chief Animal Reporter and All Around Snoop. “Pooch Paws” became “Top of the Mountain,” and “Top of the Mountain” it has remained since 1981.

As curious as a cat could be, Mountain nonetheless continued to work from home, keeping his ear to the ground and his whiskers in the wind. He gathered the gossip of the village and reported it as accurately as could be expected of a feline, often adding his own catty remarks. Because he lacked the dexterity required for a typewriter, and later a computer keyboard, Mountain was never adverse to sending his notes for the column off to the publisher or typists, or dumping the week’s words on the desk of some other compliant Newtown Bee reporter to add the finishing touch.

As the years went by, he gathered a faithful following, and while his name became synonymous with “tattler,” many in town have vied to have his or her news spread through the “Top of the Mountain.”

Like his predecessor Tiquer, Mountain is happily gleaning gossip from the Great Beyond these days — a good explanation for why there is just no hiding from this curious cat. So stay alert. You could easily find that you are a FOM.