New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

 —Mark Twain

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.

—Jay Leno

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

—Bill Vaughan

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.

—Anais Nin

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

—Oscar Wilde

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

—anonymous

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.

—G.K. Chesteron

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.

—Brooks Atkinson

The new year begins in a snow storm of white vows.

—George William Curtis

The merry year is born like the bright berry from the naked thorn.

—Hartley Coleridge

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.

—Benjamin Franklin