Author Program Offered Principles Of Taoism

By Nancy K. Crevier

Speaking to a small but attentive group Friday evening, May 11, at C.H. Booth Library, Newtown resident C.J. Golden, author of The Tao of the Defiant Woman, chatted with mothers and daughters at a workshop intended to spread her message: every woman of every age is the best “me” they can be.

Drawing on her interest in the ancient Chinese philosophy of Taoism, Ms Golden strives to teach the women and girls whom she meets in her workshops to become more self-confident and to understand themselves and each other better.

Taoism, said Ms Golden, teaches that all of nature follows a path and that being part of nature, people need to remain so.

Ms Golden is presently researching a second book that will be geared toward young women 11 to 14 years old. The Tao of the Defiant Woman was originally written for women over 40, who needed to, as she herself had discovered, be comfortable with the aging process and learn to accept and challenge themselves. She suspects that young girls need to hear that message as well, and understand that life is filled with transitions of all kinds.

“The work ‘defiant’ does not need to be seen as a negative word,” explained Ms Golden. “It depends on what you are defying. You can defy stereotypes; you can defy self-defeating behaviors; you can defy negativity and negative attitudes from society. Defying is only negative if you defy the positive in life.” She prefers to think of “defiant” as a vital and bold attitude.

A former teacher and hearing and speech therapist, Ms Golden is eager to pass along the principles of Taoism to help women meet the challenges of today’s lifestyles. 

“This is simply ‘Life According to C.J.,’ and not about me knowing what is best,” she told the mothers and daughters who were at Friday evening’s gathering. “There are challenges for mothers and challenges for daughters. The mothers don’t know what the daughters are going through. They haven’t been there for a long time, and life is very different today. Girls have a lot of societal challenges now, to be thin enough, to be pretty enough. And girls don’t know what mothers are going through; they haven’t been there. There has to be a respect of each others’ needs. I think that works for anybody.”

There are four main points of Taoism, Ms Golden told the women, that work together to form the Tao attitude. “Tzu-jan,” she said, “teaches us to ‘go with the flow’ in life.”

She demonstrated another aspect of Taoism, “wu-wei,” by having Abby Hungaaski, who attended the evening with her mother, Lynn, push against her as they stood in the center of the room. “If we push against each other, we both fall over,” said Ms Golden. “If I go with the force, though, I stay on my feet. Wu-wei teaches us about not forcing things.”

The strength of opposites, yin and yang, is another piece of Taoism that is helpful, said Ms Golden. “If you don’t know what it is like to feel sick, how do you appreciate feeling really well?” she asked the group, as an explanation of yin and yang.

The most important lesson that Taoism teaches, in her mind, said Ms Golden, is the virtue of being the best “you” you can be. “We need to not compare or contrast ourselves to others,” she said, and this is an issue she realizes young women often struggle with today.

In learning to navigate the stumbling blocks of life through the application of the Tao attitude, Ms Golden hopes that women of all ages will find joy in every stage of life.

The Tao of the Defiant Woman is being reissued in October 2007 under the name Tao of the Defiant Woman: Five Brazen Ways to Accept What You Must and Rebel Against the Rest. “I realized that the information in my book was for more than just women over the age of 40. It can be used by just about everybody,” Ms Golden said.

Ms Golden is currently seeking input from girls between the ages of 11 and 14 for her new book. She can be contacted at thepath@taogirl.com.

“We must understand that life flows,” she said. “Acceptance and boldness can get us through.”