To the Editor:

Assuming the accounts describing the BOE meetings of late are accurate, I felt I needed to comment. One of the questions I try to remember to ask my grandchildren when I see them is “What are you reading?” and over the years I have picked up some of these books even though they are not what I would normally read.

As a result, I discovered some fun reads which were made more enjoyable by the conversations it stimulated between and among me and my grandchildren. Often, we would eventually all read a title and share our thoughts. I was thinking about this as I read about the behavior of some adults at these board meetings and wondered if they realize the impression their behavior will leave on their children.

In some cases, it sounds like their time would have been better spent talking with their kids instead of berating a group of volunteers who give tremendous time and energy to making the lives of children in our community productive and enjoyable. I doubt there are many towns whose education systems offer more than Newtown, thanks in large part to the support of our board of education.

I just finished reading Blankets, and though I personally would not present it any awards, I found the scatological and sexual references were about the troubled mind of a young boy who has been abused by his babysitter, bullied and physically abused by his father and just about everyone around him. A boy who spends much of his time trying to figure out what he believes and how he fits in with the world.

In the end I got the feeling that despite it all he would be okay. I have Flamer on order as it seems hard to borrow from the library right now (Is it true that the books mentioned had not been checked out in eight years from the high school library if at all?).

Are we losing our ability to take part in meaningful civil discourse? Is everything dealt with in a reactionary way? Can we still ask that important question and have that conversation?

Maybe adults can tone down the rhetoric, sit down at a quiet dinner table and talk with their kids without distraction. As parents we held dinner time sacred and would take the phone off the hook, light candles (late fall, winter and early spring) and learn who our kids were and what they were doing. We talked about things that happened at school and at times what students were up to and problems that arose.

Maybe they learned lessons of tolerance and understanding through our conversations. Maybe they learned to reach out to that person who needed an ally or a friend. I like to think we had more of an influence on our children through these fun and relaxed conversations over a good meal than we ever had through a lecture or sermon.

Let’s keep things in perspective and provide our young people with an opportunity to develop thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and coping skills of their own, through hearing and seeing how effective adults function in the world.

John S. Boccuzzi Sr

Newtown