Holiday Potpourri

By Kim J. Harmon

 

From the “Isn’t it funny?” department:

A guy will NEVER switch allegiances from one team to another (no matter how bad the team is), but he generally won’t have a problem getting divorced. I was thinking this while watching the New Orleans Saints take back a blocked field goal for a touchdown against the New York Giants. Sure, I’ll stick with them (I stuck with them after The Fumble), but if my wife collapses like the Giants have ...

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The New York Giants were supposed to be good. But it doesn’t get much worse than getting torched by the New Orleans Saints on national television.

I commiserated with myself on Monday by leafing through my book 2,000 Sports Quips and Quotes by Glenn Liebman to find some items on bad teams and here is what I found ...

“We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.” – John Breen, former general manager of the Houston Oilers

“They overwhelmed one opponent, underwhelmed 10, and whelmed one.” – Red Smith, writing on a 1958 Green Bay Packers team that went 1-10-1.

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From the “If I Was Running The World …” department:

Anyone who takes up two spaces in a mall parking lot during the month of December would be subject to some very harsh punishment … ideally, death by firing squad. Listen, it’s irritating enough when someone with a Porsche does it, but I can almost pass it off because, hey, if I spent $50,000 on a car I wouldn’t want some idiot parking next to me and scratching it up. But when someone in a Hyundai does it …

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While I was shoveling the driveway for the second time on Sunday night (and anticipating another day off from school for my kids), a question formed in my mind. But since there was no one around to answer it, I’ll ask you –

“Whatever happened to global warming?”

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Don’t forget – if you have a Sportsman of the Year candidate, let us know about him or her. Drop us a line – either by snail mail (5 Church Hill Road, Newtown, 06470), email (sports@thebee.com) or FAX (426-5169) – and tell us about your candidate. The selection will be made in early January.

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Also don’t forget – if you purchased a Blue & Gold raffle ticket (prize is two tickets to one of several major sporting events around the country), the drawing will be made on Friday, December 19, at the Newtown High School girls’ basketball game against Brookfield. Of course, you don’t have to be there to win, but what fun would that be?

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The Reed Intermediate School gymnasium sure is a nice place to hold a basketball game. Has a nice, spacious feel to it. But I will say this – taking pictures at a Newtown Park and Recreation Youth Basketball game on Saturday morning was a pain because of the sunlight streaming in through the windows and dissecting the gym in half.

But why should I complain about sunlight? It’s only the third week of December and I have already had to shovel my driveway five times (in two storms) and sanded the sidewalks another two times.

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Just got a copy of the 13th edition of the Beckett Pricing Guide: Basketball Cards and leafing through it I had to wonder if anyone collected basketball cards ... outside, of course, Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant or any of the upper tier players.

I do have a Patrick Ewing card somewhere, though. But on page 101, I discovered – much to my horror – a Patrick Ewing card in mint condition was worth five cents. If it was in ‘excellent’ condition, it was worth only two cents.

Darn, now I can’t send my kids to college.

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The New York Yankees have suddenly slipped to No. 2 in the American League East and are trying to improve themselves (hah!) by signing a 39-year-old pitcher who is made out of glass (Kevin Brown), a rightfielder who is everything the Yankees don’t stand for (Gary Sheffield), and a centerfielder who is 10 years removed from his best years (Kenny Lofton).

Wow, I can’t wait until April.

But thinking about baseball had me thinking about this great quote from Bob Uecker and it kind of applies with all the signings going on this past week –

“You know, I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for $3,000. That bothered my dad at the time, because he didn’t have that kind of dough to pay out. But eventually he scraped it up.”

 

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Two wins and the Lounge Lizards will be Super Bowl champions!

The Lounge Lizards are my Fantasy Football League team. We finished 10-4 during the regular season and earned a first-week bye (and by that, I wasted a great game by LaDanian Tomlinson and the Carolina Panthers defense).

Now it’s on to the semi-finals. Can Marc Bulger carry the load? Will Torry Holt have a big day? Will LaDanian Tomlinson rush for a couple of touchdowns? Does anyone care but me?

Merry Christmas To All

And To All A Good Night!