Hospice Volunteering A Two-Way Gift

By Nancy K. Crevier

One of the best parts of retirement, said Gail Honychurch, who retired from Hawley School in 2008, after 28 years of teaching, is her role as a hospice volunteer for Regional Hospice and Home Care of Western Connecticut.

“I’m into my third year now,” she said. “Like many people, once you retire, you think you’ll volunteer. I wondered what avenue I would take,” Ms Honychurch said.

Although she had no personal experience with hospice, she had heard others talk about how wonderful the palliative home care program was, so she put it at the top of her list to look into.

“I had a lot of questions, like, ‘Will I be good at it? Is it sad? Is it for me?’ But I decided to go through the week of training and find out,” said Ms Honychurch. “The training was amazing,” she said.

Social workers, clergy people, home health aides, and other volunteers spoke to the recruits as part of the training process, and allayed many of her fears.

“When you leave training, you feel ready to try it. I realized that it most likely was not going to be depressing,” she said.

She started out visiting patients at Danbury Hospital, and saw that the end of life could be a painless and very peaceful experience. Then she started home visits, where there was much more interaction between herself, the patient, and the patient’s family.

“I hadn’t understood how close you can become to the family and how absolutely grateful the family is for your presence. We had been trained as to how to handle any problems that might arise, so I felt very confident once I was in a home,” she said.

It is fulfilling to know that her being there enables caregivers to have that extra hour or two to care for themselves, to get out, or to tend to outside errands, she said. “When I leave, I feel like I am getting so much more than I am giving,” Ms Honychurch said.

Her job is sometimes to just be in the room with a patient, other times she has tea with the patient or family, and in other instances, the patient looks forward to visiting with her. Every experience, she said, is different.

But every experience will end in death. “Is it sad? I was with one patient for a year and a half and got to know her and her family very well. When she died, I absolutely did feel the loss. But most patients will share at some point that they are ready to go, and with hospice, it is done so nicely, and they are in their own home,” she said. “It’s an old cliché, ‘The Circle of Life,’ but it’s true that we are all going to end this way. I know now, that it does not have to painful or sad.”

She appreciates that Regional Hospice is sensitive to the needs of the volunteers, as well, through scheduling and through support when a patient does pass away. Program coordinators follow up with the volunteer, and Ms Honychurch said that she has her own ways of dealing with loss. “I may go to the funeral, but lots of times I drive up to this peaceful place I know in Woodbury and sit for a few minutes. I think about what a wonderful experience it was for me, and hopefully for my patient,” she said. It is up to the volunteer, she said, to determine when they are ready to take on a new patient.

This past summer, realizing she could give what she had hoped she could to the hospice volunteer program, and decided to become more involved by undergoing training for the Healing Hearts program. Healing Hearts is a hospice-sponsored program to support children who have lost a parent or a sibling. It seemed a good fit for the former teacher.

What she has found through this program is a place where she is also receiving healing.

“The director asked me if I would consider facilitating a group for parents who have lost a child, knowing that I had lost my adult son, six years ago,” said Ms Honychurch. She did not hesitate, and has been leading the group, twice a month, since fall.

“It’s heartbreaking for me to hear about people losing their children. But I know how the need is so great to be with parents who are in the same situation. This has become part of my hospice volunteer work. I had no idea how healing it would be for me, as well. There was no program like this for me when Adam died,” she said.

“Just do it,” she urged anyone considering volunteering with a hospice program. “Go through the training, and then you’ll know if you can. There is a place for everyone, and so many ways to help. Hospice volunteering is not what I thought it would be,” Ms Honychurch said. “It’s better.”