Quick Words:

planning-nuptials-wedding

Full Text:

BRIDES (special section) Into The Groove: Engaged? Now's The Time To Start

Planning Nuptials

By Caron Golden

Copley News Service

Unless you are going to elope or make a run for it at city hall, planning the

event is part of the package for most brides and grooms.

Everyone knows there are myriad little and big tasks that need to be taken

care of, everything from booking a reception site to making sure the band

doesn't play a disco version of "Hava Nigila." The question is, where -- and

when -- do you start?

Right away, advises Millie Bratten, editor in chief of Bride's magazine.

"Most people call their parents first and tell them the good news. Then you

have to sit down and decide what type of wedding you would like.

"If you are thinking of a large, formal wedding with 200 guests, it's not

uncommon to take a year to plan it. You will need a reception hall and a

ceremony site, and sometimes there is competition for those sites."

In fact, with 2.4 million weddings held every year in the United States,

picking the best month can be a challenge. Most people think June is the

busiest wedding month. Ms Bratten, however, says that while the majority of

the weddings take place between May and October, a lot has to do with what

part of the country you are in.

"February weddings are very popular in California," she notes. "A lot of it

has to do with the weather."

Ms Bratten suggests setting priorities should be the first exercise. Some

people want to have the ceremony by the sea, overlooking the water at sunset;

others like nothing better than to have 200 of their closest friends and

family at a seated dinner at the country club.

Do you want a family dinner at an intimate inn you take over for the weekend

or a casual afternoon picnic at a favorite park? The issue is where you want

to be that day, and who you want to be with. Take into account the place, the

time of day and the number of guests.

Then, says Ms Bratten, establish a budget. Make lots of calls to different

hotels, caterers, dress shops, florists -- everyone you might possibly hire --

to get an estimate of the cost. Then you can rank what you want in the order

of their importance.

"Everybody has to make compromises," says Ms Bratten. Do you want 200 guests,

a ceremony by the sea, a fabulous dress, a great cake, or great music? By

eliminating what is less important you may be able to keep what you really

want. If 200 guests are important and dinner at a country club is too

expensive, consider holding a brunch instead.

Once you have set your priorities and established a budget, then it is time to

think about the details: Fresh flowers or silk? Live music or a disc jockey?

Do you want a videographer? Will you arrive at the ceremony in a classic

Bentley, or does a novelty car like a taxicab better suit your style? Once you

have an idea of what you want, you can begin booking your wedding

professionals.

What about the wedding dress? Ms Bratten says you will need six months or more

to organize that.

"You want to try on a number of different styles," she advises. "Remember,

these are custom made, so the measurements have to be taken and sent to the

manufacturer, where it's cut. Then the dress is sent back to you to be fitted.

You have to take the process into account."

As for the honeymoon, that, too, should be planned relatively early on and

booked. Allow plenty of time to research what you want, and can afford, as

well as time to lock in a special airfare.

Finally, take into account some current wedding trends, as suggested by Diane

Warner's book, The Best Wedding Ever (Career Press):

Because wedding costs are so high, there is more sharing of the total expense,

not only by both sets of parents but by the couple themselves.

More sophisticated elegance at weddings as opposed to Cinderella "fluff."

Food stations at the reception and cappuccino and espresso bars in place of

alcoholic beverages.

More candid photography shots.

Destination weddings, in which you get married at where you intend to

honeymoon.

Fewer pastels and more intense colors, including black.

Doing away with receiving lines.

Couples writing their own vows.

More DJs and fewer bands at receptions.

Is all this still too much for you to take in? You might want to hire a

wedding consultant. But be careful; what you want is a trained, full-time

professional, writes Ms Warner.

Get referrals or consult the Association of Bridal Consultants, at

203/355-0464, for the names of consultants in your area. The consultant can be

hired as soon as you are engaged to coordinate everything or at the end of the

planning process, say a couple of months before the big day, to pull

everything together.