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Date: Fri 15-Sep-1995

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Date: Fri 15-Sep-1995

Publication: Bee

Author: KIMH

Illustration: I

Quick Words:

KH-Column-Bowling

Full Text:

Column - Bowling Me Over

Kim Harmon/On Sports

Bowling Me Over

Bowling . . . I used to think that it was the single dumbest thing people

could do in the form (even if it's loosely associated here) of athletics but

sitting here, running my finger over the cool mock leather of a brace with the

cork inserts designed to make my wrist utterly inflexible - and therefore give

me better accuracy on my ball - I have to wonder what I have become.

Used to be, I could not understand the attraction of a sport (once again, the

term is used loosely) that had a finite level of success (the 300 game). I

could throw a 300 game one night and know that no one, anywhere in the world,

could throw a 301.

Think about it . . . Steve Young could throw six touchdown passes in a

football game and even though you would think no QB is going to come along and

do better, one could. Young himself could come back the next week and throw

eight TD passes. And then 10 the week after that.

Perfection is not an issue in any sport . . . except bowling (if it can be

construed as a sport, considering that you can be overweight, smoke, and drink

to excess and still be the best in your league).

But after shunning bowling through my early twenties I was asked to be on a

bowling team - begged, actually, if I remember correctly - and I said, okay,

what the heck. But for the first two years I was content to walk into the

house (meaning, the alley . . . like other sports, bowling has its own

cliches) and pick a house ball - replete with chips and gouges and finger

holes as jagged as broken bottle necks - off the rack and then go rent a pair

of odoriferous shoes that smelled hideous even back when Moses used to bowl.

That was my preparation.

I think it was in my third year that I went out and bought my own ball and my

own pair of shoes . . . but I was still on the safe side of the fence, a

bowling participant rather than a bowler (there is a difference). The ball I

bought was a simple Brunswick, a beginner's model that's like buying a Ford

Pinto when what you really need is an Audi 5000 (and there are many different

kinds of balls, made out of many different kinds of materials).

That ball lasted three years (and was the ball I used to roll my career high

game - 246) but when I finally retired it to the garage it looked so beat up I

began thinking the next slightest nick would cause it to disintegrate into a

15-pound pile of urethane dust.

The fact that I felt I needed a new ball (coupled with the fact that, the year

before, I had started using a towel to wipe it off after every roll and a

rosin bag to give myself a better grip) made me realize I had crossed over the

line. I had become a bowler.

As much as I wanted to believe that I, at least in some small part, athletic,

I never achieved anything of any value - championship-wise - outside of the

bowling alley.

(NOTE: That is, until last Sunday, when the Newtown Slo-Pitch Softball team I

played on - in a small way, I admit - won the league championship over Newtown

Exxon). Ever since I started bowling again I have been a captain (a position

that, I admit, is not revered but actually shunned) and in the eight years

that I have competed I have captained a team into the league championship five

times. Two of those times I took home the first-place trophy . . . the only

trophies I earned through any form of athletics.

It would be okay if I was only okay at this, but I'm pretty good in comparison

to the people I bowl against. Two of the last three years I've carried an

average in the mid-160s and this year - after kicking off the season with my

first career 600 series - I have my eyes set on an average of 170, a realm

where only 10 or 11 people will take up residence all season.

Ten years ago I wouldn't be worried about something like that. I would more or

less be worried about whether or not I could get enough guys together for a

flag football game.

But I found something I'm good at and while I don't think I've convinced

myself that bowling is an actual athletic event, for the time being I will go

under that assumption.

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