Date: Fri 15-Sep-1995
Date: Fri 15-Sep-1995
Publication: Bee
Author: KIMH
Illustration: I
Quick Words:
KH-Column-Bowling
Full Text:
Column - Bowling Me Over
Kim Harmon/On Sports
Bowling Me Over
Bowling . . . I used to think that it was the single dumbest thing people
could do in the form (even if it's loosely associated here) of athletics but
sitting here, running my finger over the cool mock leather of a brace with the
cork inserts designed to make my wrist utterly inflexible - and therefore give
me better accuracy on my ball - I have to wonder what I have become.
Used to be, I could not understand the attraction of a sport (once again, the
term is used loosely) that had a finite level of success (the 300 game). I
could throw a 300 game one night and know that no one, anywhere in the world,
could throw a 301.
Think about it . . . Steve Young could throw six touchdown passes in a
football game and even though you would think no QB is going to come along and
do better, one could. Young himself could come back the next week and throw
eight TD passes. And then 10 the week after that.
Perfection is not an issue in any sport . . . except bowling (if it can be
construed as a sport, considering that you can be overweight, smoke, and drink
to excess and still be the best in your league).
But after shunning bowling through my early twenties I was asked to be on a
bowling team - begged, actually, if I remember correctly - and I said, okay,
what the heck. But for the first two years I was content to walk into the
house (meaning, the alley . . . like other sports, bowling has its own
cliches) and pick a house ball - replete with chips and gouges and finger
holes as jagged as broken bottle necks - off the rack and then go rent a pair
of odoriferous shoes that smelled hideous even back when Moses used to bowl.
That was my preparation.
I think it was in my third year that I went out and bought my own ball and my
own pair of shoes . . . but I was still on the safe side of the fence, a
bowling participant rather than a bowler (there is a difference). The ball I
bought was a simple Brunswick, a beginner's model that's like buying a Ford
Pinto when what you really need is an Audi 5000 (and there are many different
kinds of balls, made out of many different kinds of materials).
That ball lasted three years (and was the ball I used to roll my career high
game - 246) but when I finally retired it to the garage it looked so beat up I
began thinking the next slightest nick would cause it to disintegrate into a
15-pound pile of urethane dust.
The fact that I felt I needed a new ball (coupled with the fact that, the year
before, I had started using a towel to wipe it off after every roll and a
rosin bag to give myself a better grip) made me realize I had crossed over the
line. I had become a bowler.
As much as I wanted to believe that I, at least in some small part, athletic,
I never achieved anything of any value - championship-wise - outside of the
bowling alley.
(NOTE: That is, until last Sunday, when the Newtown Slo-Pitch Softball team I
played on - in a small way, I admit - won the league championship over Newtown
Exxon). Ever since I started bowling again I have been a captain (a position
that, I admit, is not revered but actually shunned) and in the eight years
that I have competed I have captained a team into the league championship five
times. Two of those times I took home the first-place trophy . . . the only
trophies I earned through any form of athletics.
It would be okay if I was only okay at this, but I'm pretty good in comparison
to the people I bowl against. Two of the last three years I've carried an
average in the mid-160s and this year - after kicking off the season with my
first career 600 series - I have my eyes set on an average of 170, a realm
where only 10 or 11 people will take up residence all season.
Ten years ago I wouldn't be worried about something like that. I would more or
less be worried about whether or not I could get enough guys together for a
flag football game.
But I found something I'm good at and while I don't think I've convinced
myself that bowling is an actual athletic event, for the time being I will go
under that assumption.
