Volunteers Needed To Bring Coffee And Conversation To Ashlar Residents

By Jan Howard

It could be a scene from any local coffee shop, with people gathering and talking, some reading newspapers, and others just enjoying sipping a beverage and enjoying the day.

But it’s not a local coffee shop, it’s Ashlar of Newtown’s coffee hour, held weekdays from 10 to 11 am in the newly renovated lobby.

During the coffee hour, Ashlar residents and local volunteers share conversations, do crossword puzzles, and discuss current events.

The tradition has been part of the daily routine at Ashlar for a long time. With the newly renovated lobby, the environment looks different, but the discussion, people, and purpose remain the same.

Volunteers come to Ashlar to host the coffee hour, and the residents love it.

Unfortunately, because they move out of the area or have other conflicts, some volunteers no longer are able to help out. More volunteer hosts are needed for the coffee hour.

The purpose of the coffee hour is purely for socialization, according to Hilda DeLucia, community resources manager at Ashlar of Newtown. But, she said, the socialization is not only aimed at the residents. The volunteer hosts also do their share of socializing, with the residents and each other.

Ted Dieter and Cheryl Infante of Newtown met at Ashlar 18 months ago when they were both looking for a volunteer activity.

“I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do at Ashlar, but the coffee hour sounded like a casual way to get to know the residents,” Ms Infante said.

She and Mr Dieter went through orientation on the same day, according to Ms DeLucia, and both made the choice of Tuesday as their day to host the coffee hour. Through that chance meeting on January 6, 1999, their lives changed. They began dating, and are now engaged. No date has been set for the wedding, though Mr Dieter said it might be sometime in the fall.

It is obvious how much Ms Infante and Mr Dieter enjoy hosting the coffee hour. Bearing Munchkins from Dunkin Donuts, they arrive a little after 10 am, bring in the coffee cart and, if the residents aren’t already in the lobby, go upstairs to bring them down.

Mr Dieter said he learned about Ashlar at the Newtown Senior Center. “I worked in the Department of Mental Retardation all my life. I was looking for something meaningful to do. They suggested I look into Ashlar.”

He obviously enjoys talking with the residents. He props himself against the wall between two residents, getting them involved in a discussion.

 “I serve coffee, kiss the women,” he said, laughing. “I kid around with the residents. At first they didn’t know where I was coming from. I try to be myself. I get them talking to each other. They feel comfortable now.”

“It’s very rewarding,” Ms Infante said. She read about Ashlar’s need for volunteers in The Newtown Bee. “I wanted to work with the elderly, but I didn’t think of this. I was only going to do it at Christmas time, but they didn’t need me until January. That’s when I met Ted. We were given the tour, and Hilda mentioned the coffee hour.”

Before the hour was over on Tuesday, June 6, there were 14 residents in attendance, chatting together or reading the paper, engaging in good-natured kidding with Mr Dieter or serious conversations with Ms Infante, munching on donuts, and enjoying the fire in the fireplace on a dreary, rain-soaking day.

Ms Infante and Mr Dieter feel very close to Ashlar residents. “We talk about them outside. We wonder how they’re doing. It’s like a family,” Ms Infante said.

 One interest Ms Infante and Mr Dieter have found they like to share together is fishing, and they have shared their catch with two of the residents, Warren Leonard and Isabel Frager. They cooked the trout and brought it in to be heated in Ashlar’s kitchen.

Their volunteer efforts don’t end with the coffee hour. For the first time this year, Ms Infante and Mr Dieter have offered to accompany residents to the Grand Master’s Day outing in Wallingford on June 10.

Bob Carter, a resident of Newtown for the past four years, is the host of the coffee hour on Friday mornings. After serving everyone, he can be found sitting in a corner with resident Essie Davis, doing the daily crossword puzzle.

“Bob is great at helping me find those difficult words, but I often beat him to them. I enjoy Bob’s visits tremendously,” Ms Davis said.

Mr Carter admits he is much better at fixing Ms Davis her cup of tea with no milk/one sugar than he is at the crossword puzzle. He began volunteering for the coffee hour about two years ago, after reading about the need for volunteers at Ashlar in The Bee. “I wanted to be involved with the people. I figured serving coffee is one thing I’m capable of doing,” he said, laughing.

 Mr Carter said the coffee hour is very busy for about 20 minutes, “Then there’s time for more important stuff.” Like the crossword puzzle. Every once in a while he’s up, refilling someone’s coffee cup, but then he’s back to help out with the next word.

Ms Davis has been attending the coffee hour for three years. She said the best thing about it is doing the crossword puzzle. “I get the paper, and in between serving coffee, he started to help me,” she said. “I would ask a question, and run the answer by Bob.”

The coffee hour also “gets me away from my room. It’s a break,” she said.

“They try to have it each weekday,” Mr Carter said. “It’s very enjoyable. You feel like you’re doing something useful. They really appreciate it.”

According to Ms DeLucia, Sonja Lijengren and her friends have been coming to Ashlar for over ten years. “My friends and I take turns baking something and, when we bring it on Wednesday mornings, the first thing out of the residents’ mouths is ‘What’s cooking today?’” Ms Lijengren said. The residents, she added, enjoy “not only our treats but our visits.”

Tara Daniels and her friend Cathy Greenwood have been hosting the coffee hour on Thursday mornings. Unfortunately, Ms Daniels is moving and, due to personal conflicts, Ms Greenwood will not be able to do it any longer.

“One of the hardest things about my relocating out of this area is leaving all the friends I’ve made here at Ashlar of Newtown,” Ms Daniels said. She hosted the coffee hour every other week, and Lory Whelan covered the weeks in between. Ms DeLucia said Ms Whelan enjoys just sitting and waiting on the residents with their favorite beverage, whether it’s hot chocolate, tea, or coffee.

To volunteer as a coffee hour host or to learn about other volunteer opportunities at Ashlar of Newtown, call Hilda DeLucia at 364-3127.