Quick Words:

Dummies-Treasures-Rochman

Full Text:

BRIDES (special section) From "Tacky Temptations" To Tasteful Tips, New Books

For Brides & Grooms

(with book covers)

By Joanne Greco Rochman

I have to admit, when I first saw Weddings For Dummies stacked on the

bookshelves along with all the other wedding books, I thought it was a joke.

Oh, I was familiar with the "...For Dummies" business and general reference

books that simplified even the most complicated issues, but associating

"...For Dummies" status to future brides and grooms and their families seemed

to border on insulting. Then I spoke with Cele Goldsmith Lalli,

Editor-in-Chief at Modern Bride.

"The book is great," said Ms Lalli. "It's the kind of book that couples can

really turn to for sound advice when it comes to planning their wedding.

"Check it out," she advised. So I did.

Having interviewed Peggy Post and having read her beautifully written "prim

and proper" bible on protocol, I then opened Marcy Blum's and Laura Fisher

Kaiser's Weddings For Dummies. What an unexpected treat!

The book is a colorful, no-nonsense, light-hearted wedding reference tool that

should be a "must read" guide for anyone planning a wedding.

Yes, it does have cartoons and humor, but it's no joke. The co-authors include

definitive information on everything from engagement announcements, bridal

gown terms, money saving tricks and "stamp-free, toll-free RSVPs" to ten tacky

temptations to resist. It also includes secrets of wedded bliss from

"long-time-married" couples. The 390-page, oversized, paperback book is

published by IDG Books Worlwide, Inc., and sells for $19.99.

Celebrating its 75th anniversary, Emily Post's Etiquette is still the

definitive source on proper conduct and wedding decorum. However, if you are

planning a wedding and have an old edition of Emily Post, use it as a doorstop

and invest in a copy of the new edition. Times have changed and so has wedding

protocol.

The hefty, new 16th edition, with 845 pages and revised by Peggy Post, is

published by Harper Reference. It sells for $35 and continues the Post family

tradition of spreading the word on good manners.

During a recent interview, Peggy Post, the new spokesperson and author for the

Emily Post Institute and the great granddaughter-in-law to Emily Post, said

that when it comes to weddings just about anything goes, as long as it is done

in good taste.

"Good taste" are the key words, here, and the ones used most frequently by Ms

Post.

According to the author, fifty percent of the questions she receives about

etiquette deal with weddings. Since Emily's days, the biggest changes in

wedding etiquette include the personalization and individualization of the

wedding itself, as well as the division of wedding expenses.

Another big change since Emily's day is the impact of divorce on weddings. So

many parents of wedding couples, and even the brides and grooms themselves,

have been divorced. Because of this, determining who sits where and who does

what means complicated and diplomatic planning.

Of all the changes that have come about in weddings and wedding-related

customs, one of the most colorful falls in the realm of the gift registry.

Brides and grooms today are not only registering for linens and fine china,

they are now signing in at home improvement centers and travel agencies!

"There's nothing wrong with registering with a travel agency, so the wedding

guests can contribute to the honeymoon," said the etiquette authority, Peggy

Post.

"Like all other bridal registries, it just needs to be handled tastefully.

That means never, ever mention registries or gifts on a wedding invitation;

tell guests about the registry only if they ask; and equally important, let

them decide the amount of their gift."

Registering for travel sits well with the publishers at Harry N. Abrams, Inc.

They have the perfect guides for off the beaten path honeymoons: travel to

little-known museums. Brides and grooms will not only find their honeymoon

memorable, they will have something to talk about for a long time after they

visit these unique and varied museums.

"Every museum ... functions as a sort of pilgrimage and vigil," says Rachel

Kaplan, quoting from A Natural History of Love . "We go there to express our

love, our humility, our worship. Museums are where we store some of our

favorite attitudes about life." In her own book, Little Known Museums In and

Around London (Abrams; paperback, $19.95) Kaplan leads readers to places they

never knew existed.

Take for instance, the Bramah Tea & Coffee Museum. Situated opposite the Tower

Bridge and the Tower of London, Butler's Wharf was the center of dockside

activity for more than 300 years. It contains many items of interest including

a collection of teapots that spans four centuries, displays of miniature tea

bushes, Chinese tea chests, period prints of the 17th and 18th Century tea and

leisure gardens, and a display of Italian espresso makers.

Ms Kaplan guides you to places such as Dickens House Museum, Freud Museum,

Museum of Garden History, Florence Nightingale Museum, Theatre Museum and the

Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Museum. Even if you never venture out of your easy

chair, Ms Kaplan's personable, well-informed voice invites you to explore 30

remarkable, little known, but colorful museums.

If newlyweds opt for honeymooning in Paris, they will be happy to learn that

Harry N. Abrams, Inc. also published Kaplan's Little-Known Museums In and

Around Paris (paperback, $19.95). Ms Kaplan has included 30 museums in this

beautifully illustrated easy-to-use guide. Included in the text is everything

from the Museum of Baccarat Crystal, where Dame Baccarat's "Chandelier Dress"

is on exhibit, to the Fan Museum, where a dazzling collection of embroidered

silk, lace, paper and ostrich feather fans are displayed.

Making wedding and honeymoon plans is a cooperative effort. Today's brides and

grooms and their families can have access to expert advice and information

with just a quick visit to their local library or the neighborhood bookstore.