Date: Fri 04-Apr-1997

Publication: Bee

Author: DOTTIE

Quick Words:

Nicole-Gellella-learning

Full Text:

Turning Learning Challenges

Into Opportunities

Nicole Gellella wants to write a resource book for people with learning

disabilities.

B Y D OROTHY E VANS

Despite a lifelong struggle with a visual/perceptual learning disability,

Nicole Gellella has never stopped believing in herself.

Talking to the 26-year-old Newtown resident, one is reminded of the children's

story about the Little Engine That Could, where hard work and determination on

the part of the little blue engine changed "I Think I Can" to "I Thought I

Could."

While finding ways to cope with her visual processing difficulties, Ms

Gellella has worked very hard, climbing some pretty big mountains.

"I face my disability every single day of my life. But I don't let it stop me

from doing what I want to do," Ms Gellella said during a recent interview in

the Taunton Lake Road home she shares with her parents, Claudine and Michael

Gellella. A younger sister, Danielle, is a fashion designer working in New

York City.

A glow of accomplishment brightened her face as she told about successfully

passing certain major academic milestones. She graduated from Newtown High

School in 1989 and earned a bachelor of arts degree from Marist College in

Poughkeepsie, N.Y., in 1993.

Rowing for crew at Marist was an important part of her college experience, she

added.

"It helped me academically. You need a balance. Work hard, but have fun," she

said.

But even these achievements don't tell the whole story of how Ms Gellella has

learned to put such hard-earned insights to good use.

Helping Others Cope With Stress

For the past three years, Ms Gellella has held a demanding teaching position

at a prestigious private school in Riverdale, N.Y., where academically

talented students are "under a lot of pressure from their parents to excel and

attend Ivy League schools," she said.

Ms Gellella said part of her job has meant being a counselor and role model

for those students, helping them learn various ways of coping with academic

stress.

She and other teachers work out of a log home at the school's off-campus site,

a 100-acre outdoor nature lab located in Washington, Conn., "with a focus on

adventure programming," she explained.

While visiting the facility, her students must master a number of physical

challenges, such as rock climbing or canoeing or white water rafting.

Eventually every student at the school goes through the experiential learning

program there, she said.

"They learn to depend upon each other, to support and not compete," she said.

"They can also hang out, relax and talk, play outside and get dirty - all

things they don't get enough of in their lives," she said.

While helping to oversee the program for approximately 30 students at a time,

Ms Gellella said she is "like a big sister" to them, while doing "everything

you can imagine" to keep the place running, including car maintenance, cooking

and teaching life skills.

"I like the interaction. I can help them by just listening. I try to teach

them to respect one another, that what they say and do does affect other

people," she said.

These are things she's learned through coping with her own disability, Ms

Gellella added, though she wasn't hired for the job specifically because she

was learning-disabled.

"I doubt my employers even know about it," she said, adding she would be

telling them soon when she outlines her current plans to write a book - a

project that she began planning during the three-week break between school

semesters.

"I want this book to be a networking tool that will offer individuals [with

learning challenges] the opportunity to communicate" with others like

themselves, she said.

She even knows what the title will be: Challenged But Not Defeated .

Diagnosed In Second Grade

For nearly as long as she can remember, Ms Gellella said she's known she was

not mastering her school work as quickly or as easily as her peers.

Skills which they seemed to take for granted, such as remembering the way a

word is spelled, being able to read a clock dial or memorizing a short list of

facts, have been a constant struggle.

"The written word is difficult [for me] to process," was her simple summation.

Her mother, Claudine Gellella, who sat with Nicole in the family's sunny

kitchen during the March 13 interview, shared her own vivid memories of those

early years.

Alarm bells first went off, she said, when Nicole's second grade teachers

reported her daughter was having trouble in school.

"Nicole always was verbally articulate, so we couldn't imagine there might

really be a problem. As a matter of fact, when we took her to Newington

Children's Hospital for testing, they found she had a college level

vocabulary. They were amazed at the span [in her abilities]," said Mrs

Gellella.

"The doctors don't really know why or how it happens that a person is born

with auditory perceptual difficulties," she said.

"Often such people have above average intelligence."

After hearing the diagnosis, the Gellellas decided that Nicole should repeat

the second grade, though Mrs Gellella recalled that "even then, [making that

decision] was devastating!"

Both Nicole and her mother agreed they were lucky to have been in the Newtown

School system because the teachers and administration "supported us every step

of the way," Claudine Gellella said.

Nicole remembered many special education teachers at Middle Gate, Newtown

Middle School and Newtown High School who "really cared" and helped her

throughout her school career.

"I'm very grateful for what they did for me. Sometimes I think they could use

a little pumping up," she said, naming a few who stood out in her memory:

"Georgia Montecalvo at Newtown High; John Quinlan and Gerri Waterbury in the

guidance department (I nicknamed her "Dr Waterbury"); life skills tutors, Joan

Brand and Mary Lou Husking; and Irene Stotts, retired Head O' Meadow fourth

grade teacher.

"Also, [Superintendent of Newtown Schools] Dr [John] Reed. He doesn't get

enough credit for what he does. After all, he hired those teachers," Ms

Gellella said.

But the schools can't do it all, she added.

It takes a very supportive family and you need to keep a positive attitude,

remembering that "we all have our strengths and weaknesses, but we're more

alike than we are different."

Needing A Support System

"I've been truly lucky," Ms Gellella said, describing how, from the time her

auditory/perceptual problems were first diagnosed, her parents, teachers and

the Newtown Schools' special education staff worked together to help her

succeed.

"They tried to keep me in the classroom as much as possible," she said.

Most importantly, they taught her to be an advocate for herself - do the hard

work and not let anyone else do it for her.

"But I'm concerned about those people who weren't as lucky as I was, people

who have fallen through the cracks," Ms Gellella said.

Those are the ones she wants to help by writing the book, and she hopes to

spread several positive insights to everyone suffering with a learning

disability.

"Focus on the things you're good at. That's your strength. Why should we

punish ourselves? Everybody isn't meant to go to college or be a doctor or

lawyer," she said.

Getting Started

Ms Gellella has recently become engaged to a medical student and looks forward

to several changes in her life. At the same time, she is "looking hard at

short term and long term goals."

In the immediate future, she wants to start work on her book - finding the

role models to profile, networking and putting together their stories.

For the long term, Ms Gellella would like to eventually own a school on a

farm, where children can come who are learning challenged.

"I know from my experience in this present job that I can help them" to

develop self esteem and life skills, she said.

For the present, she will finish out her year at the job in Washington, but

she doesn't plan to waste any time seeking out role models for the book.

"I hope they'll be willing to open themselves up as counselors in a sort of

dialogue," she said.

This dialogue could happen by postal mail or through email conversations on

their computers.

"I'll be available to anybody that would like to talk about this project," she

added.

She has already begun her search by writing letters to organizations and

colleges and she is relying upon "word of mouth" to get the message out. She

may need help with the writing part, she acknowledged, but she has no doubt

she'll find a publisher.

"I don't think anyone else has done a book like this. Teachers and doctors can

tell you they `know how it feels' [to be learning disabled]. But of course,

they really don't. We are the ones who know and we can help each other," Ms

Gellella said.

Then she offered a quotation that she plans to use in her book, which, she

felt, "said it best."

Snowflakes are life's most fragile things.

Look what they can do when they stick together!

Anyone seeking information about the progress of the book or wishing to help

in some way should write: Nicole Gellella, Post Office Box 693, Newtown,

Conn., 06470.