Members of Newtown Interfaith Council (NIC) continued laying the groundwork for a program they hope will be received as an open invitation to everyone in the community, for an open dialogue on current topics, during their latest meeting.

Reverend Matthew Crebbin, Reverend Bill Donaldson, and Pastor Stephen Volpe convened in the library of Newtown Congregational Church on March 10. The three men — the senior pastor of Newtown Congregational Church; founder, president, and executive director of Love Has A Home Here; and pastor of Newtown United Methodist Church, respectively — continued discussion of a topic that began in January when the idea of a community conversation was raised.

“What does ‘community’ mean to us?” Crebbin said in explaining what had been discussed to Volpe, who had been absent from the group’s two previous meetings.

Donaldson said there has been talk about inviting local education, law enforcement, and government leaders, “but this is not meant to be a place to challenge officials” or what they represent.

“We want to talk about what everyone cares about,” he said. “What are common cares, and can we listen to each other and have moderated conversations?”

Crebbin and Donaldson each said they had begun outreach for guest speakers. The three decided it would be a good idea to have local officials join an upcoming NIC meeting, to see who its members are and to further discuss how a community conversation would be structured.

“We really want to look at a conversation around ‘what community means to you … what community might look like,’” Donaldson said. He and Crebbin also acknowledged some people may not attend if they think it’s “a clergy event,” Donaldson added.

“We’re here for all of us to talk about what we care about,” Crebbin said.

Volpe said it may be like “coaxing people out of their silos.”

He explained further, saying he hopes those who attend such an event would not only share their values and opinions, they would be willing to listen to those of others.

“My only issue is human nature, and the go-to of not listening to the opinion of others,” he said.

Donaldson said recent NIC meetings included discussion of using a talking stick. He has moderated many group discussions with that tactic at Sticks and Stones Farm, he said, “and whoever has the stick is the only person speaking.

“You may want to offer something, but you may not get to speak for three or four people, while they have the stick,” he said. Donaldson hinted that sometimes waiting for a turn to speak diffuses a heated response. “By the time you get the stick you may not want to talk,” he said.

Volpe said he likes the idea of everyone getting to be heard, “and feeling like they’ve been heard.”

He also raised a concern for those who are reticent to speak.

“How do you get them to open up?” Volpe asked Donaldson. In response, Donaldson said there are different ways of working with the talking stick. Instead of passing around a circle, some groups will have a speaker place the stick in the center of the circle when they’ve finished their comments. The next person who wants to speak can then pick up the stick.

Crebbin said depending on the number of participants, they may want to limit the number of times someone holds the stick.

“We may want to say ‘You can’t speak again until everyone who wants to share has the opportunity to do so,” he said.

Crebbin said one purpose of the event will be to simply remind those who attend that “we are trying to recognize that really, we are all neighbors and we all have a lot going on.

“There is a lot pulling at us,” he added.

Nodding, Donaldson said he likes the idea of reminding everyone that every tradition “has some version of that, of ‘love your neighbor.’”

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Managing Editor Shannon Hicks can be reached at shannon@thebee.com.