Bullies Aren’t Funny

Somewhere along the line, humiliation became a form of entertainment. And not just for sadists. Have you watched any Reality TV lately? Then you know what we mean. Apparently if the misfortune of others is comical in some commercially viable way, then it is OK to put aside whatever impulse we may have for empathy or kindness or compassion, and to laugh along with everyone else. It’s just a cultural phenomenon, right? What harm can come of it?

This is a question we all should ask ourselves after attending the next Parent Connection Forum next Tuesday evening, February 6, at 7 pm, at the Reed Intermediate School. The topic for the evening is bullying and its social consequences for children and their families right here in Newtown.

Mental health experts understand that our reactions and responses to the suffering of others are learned behavior. Mass media long ago ceased being the little fishbowl of entertainment many adults may remember from the TV-watching days of their childhood. Kids today use televisions, computers, cellphones, and every other incarnation of media technology in this information age as a window on the world — and it’s an open window. Some kids are using that window to reach out and hurt someone. Cyberbullying now includes not only emailed harassment, but also threats and abuse posted on popular websites like MySpace, FaceBook, and Friendster. One video of a recent bullying incident on Long Island was widely viewed on YouTube.

Newtown’s schools have their fair share of student-on-student hazing and intimidation. The district has formally reported eight instances of bullying in the past year; how many other unreported incidents there have been is anyone’s guess. These incidents cannot be dismissed merely as evidence that “kids will be kids.” (Yes, girls can be bullies, too. The Long Island video recorded a beating administered by three girls.) Bullying behavior, unchecked, invites disaster. It has provoked suicides in its victims, and worse. Who can forget the 1999 incident at Columbine High School in Colorado, where two bullied outcasts killed themselves, but only after killing 12 other students and a teacher.

The February 6 session at the Reed School will be an important milestone in this community’s efforts to understand and address bullying in all its guises — in the schools, in the community, and online. Anthony Salvatore, assistant principal at Reed, will show how the aggressive humiliation of others twists the lives of bullies, their victims, and even silent bystanders. No one escapes the corrosive social consequences of bullying. We urge everyone to attend this program. It will challenge parents, schools, and the community at large to work together to rethink our growing acceptance of humiliation as comic relief. It isn’t entertainment. It isn’t funny. It’s… well, humiliating.