Date: Fri 17-Oct-1997

Publication: Hea

Author: SHANNO

Quick Words:

silent-witnesses-sidebar

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SIDEBAR: Silent Witnesses Speak Volumes

"She was your mother, your daughter, your sister, your cousin, or your aunt.

She was your neighbor, your friend, your co-worker or your boss. She worked

with us. Her children go to school with your children. She was abused and

killed by someone who was supposed to love her. Her murder was unsolved, or

her death was ruled accidental. We miss her. Today she stands here to remind

us that her life and her death must not be in vain."

The Uncounted Women, 1996

BY SHANNON HICKS

In Minnesota seven years ago, a group of artists and writers decided to

commemorate the lives of women who had died that year as a result of domestic

violence. The artists created "The Silent Witness Exhibit," made up of 27

lifesize wooden silhouettes, painted red. Each silhouette represents a woman

who once lived - worked and played, had neighbors, friends, family, children -

whose life ended violently at the hands of a husband, ex-husband, partner or

acquaintance.

The Silent Witness National Initiative is a program, launched in 1994,

dedicated to promoting community-based programs that heal domestic violence.

Its ultimate goal is to eliminate all domestic violence murders by the year

2010. The program was also formed to coordinate the production of Silent

Witnesses in all 50 states.

About six months ago, the National Silent Witness Project contacted the

National Council of Jewish Women/Greater Danbury Section to organize an

exhibit in Connecticut. NCJW members, along with those who are part of the

Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence and EVE's Fund (End Violence

Everywhere), created the Connecticut exhibition.

The result was the creation of 13 plywood figures, representing women across

the state who were killed by people they knew in one form or another. The

collection made its debut on September 16, when the United Jewish Center in

Danbury hosted a program on domestic violence.

Twelve of the Connecticut figures are painted red, representing women who have

been killed, all of them victims of domestic violence. Eleven of the figures

honor individual women; the 12th red figure, named The Uncounted Women,

represents all the victims of domestic violence who, for various reason, were

never counted in the official statistics. Their deaths were deemed accidental

but remain questionable in the minds of many.

Each figure in the exhibit is fashioned with a gold shield on its front. The

shield bears the name of the victim, her hometown, her age at her death, how

she died and who killed her.

Some relationships had had violent histories; others had seemed fine. Some of

the women were in the process of getting a divorce; some were about to proceed

with filing a divorce; others had simply threatened to leave their partners.

What helps drive the powerful exhibition deep into the heart of anyone who

visits it is the realization that these women were from across this state. And

the women - like national, state and local statistics tells us - were of all

ages and backgrounds. Domestic violence, this exhibition proves, reaches into

every corner.

One woman in the display, 50, from Madison, was killed by her husband. He then

shot himself. The bodies were found by the couple's 19-year-old son.

A 37-year-old woman from New Haven was strangled during a fight with her

boyfriend. There was no history of domestic violence in the relationship; no

protective order had been sought.

An Enfield woman whose divorce was to be finalized within days was shot by her

estranged husband; the man then shot himself. The couple had been married 28

years.

Another figure represents a woman who was 34 when she was shot by her longtime

boyfriend. Their relationship has been marked by vicious threats, arguments

and physical abuse. A protective order and several domestic violence charges

were pending.

Two of the figures make it quite clear that not only is domestic violence a

crime that plagues Connecticut, it is in our own backyard.

One of the red figures represents Jennifer Vidak, a 28-year-old Sherman

resident. Last year, Jennifer was shot to death by her husband. Her death came

one month after her husband was accused of hitting her on the head with a

telephone. Jennifer's children, 4 and 2, were locked in the couple's car at

the time of the incident. After calling his mother, Jennifer's husband shot

himself. The couple was in the midst of a divorce.

The final red icon, completed only days before its September debut, honored

Michelle Gargliardo. The 25-year-old, who lived in New Fairfield, made

headlines in September 1996, when her husband reported her missing. He claimed

she had gone out for her morning jog one day and never returned home. The

couple had two sons; the four-year-old told police his mother was "sleeping in

the grass." Michelle's body was found a few days after she was reported

missing, in a Halloween theme park in Patterson, N.Y., five miles from the

couple's home. Her husband had strangled her. The police had been called to

the Gargliardo home at least two times before Michelle's fatal disappearance.

The 13th figure in the Connecticut Silent Witnesses exhibit is painted gray.

She is shaped just like the other 12 figures in the exhibition. She could be

any of the figures in the exhibition.

But she represents, in a frightening approach, hope in the fight against

domestic violence. The 13th figure is All The Women Murdered By An Intimate

Partner - Future. On her shield is a warning of the possibility of many more

women dying at the hands of their abusers followed by the words, "It is within

our power to make this statue, representing the violence of future years,

disappear from this exhibit. Help us end the violence ."

Even in silence, these monuments to individual women speak volumes.

October 17-19 has been named National Silent Witness Weekend. On October 18,

The March To End The Silence will be held in Washington. Thousands of men,

women and children are expected to attend, with 1,500 red figures being

carried from the Washington Monument to Capitol Hill. A candlelight vigil will

be held that evening at the Capitol Reflecting Pool to honor the lives of

slain women.