Two Hollywood Holiday Films,

But Only One Is Worth Your Time

Remember when you were a kid and your parents chastised you for doing something foolish? One of the favorite retorts in the tyke arsenal was, “But everybody else was doing it!” Of course, you might receive the response, “If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do it?” Well, last weekend, Cat in the Hat was the number one film at the box office for the second week, taking in over $25 million for a total of over $75 million and counting, and I’m here to tell you, don’t follow the crowd and take this plunge!

Save yourself the aggravation and avoid seeing Cat in the Hat. It is a noisy, crass, incoherent mess that lacks any subtlety or grace whatsoever. Shame on its producers for cranking out exactly the kind of overproduced, under-thought product for which critics stereotypically berate Hollywood. Ugh!

Helmed by first-time feature director Bo Welch, a top-flight production designer (Edward Scissorhands, Men in Black, A Little Princess, and more) who may have bitten off more than he can chew, Cat in the Hat suffers because Welch, who has a great eye for design, appears to lack the storytelling heft to reign in an all-over-the-map Mike Myers, who tackles the title role of Dr Seuss’ famous feline in the tall chapeau.

Myers seems to forget he’s not inhabiting one of his own comic creations, but epitomizing a beloved character that’s been around for over 40 years. Thus, the Cat comes off as an amalgamation of Myers’s “SNL” skit résumé rather than the whimsical, rhyming hero of children’s literature.

Also starring Kelly Preston, Sean Hayes (playing both a germaphobic boss and the voice of a sarcastic goldfish), a game Alec Baldwin (as the villain of the piece), and capable child actors Dakota Fanning and Spencer Breslin, Cat in the Hat is also undone by an unfocused script that can’t decide whether this movie is a spoof of the Dr Seuss material, a modernized take on the tale, a satire of other children’s-book adaptations, or something altogether different.

What emerges is a sometimes base, rather scattershot affair that meanders from simply trying to please the attention span of young children to misguidedly attempting to zing the adults in the audience with some rather tasteless gags that belie the film’s PG rating.

On the other hand, if you’re on the lookout for a family film that is truly entertaining, the real option out there is Elf, another holiday film starring an “SNL” veteran... in this case, Will Farrell. Whereas Cat in the Hat is unfocused and ultimately fails to please any audience, Elf is a satisfying flick that features nostalgic humor for adults (visions of TV holiday specials will dance in many people’s heads) and fun, goofy gags for the younger crowd.

Directed with zany aplomb by Jon Favreau, Elf displays a mischievous comic sense matched with a warm, uplifting heart as well as an uncanny knack of knowing when to go for the big laugh and when not to tax the audience too much. Farrell, as a human being adopted by elves but then dispatched from the North Pole to New York City to find his true origins, creates a memorable, likable character, and a fine cast that includes Bob Newhart (his usual wry self, even playing “Papa Elf”), James Caan, Mary Steenburgen, Zooey Deschanel, and Ed Asner ably supports him.

If you’re looking to get your holiday season off right and don’t want to tragically turn into a Grinch, avoid Cat in the Hat at all costs and support Elf ... it’ll be worth your while.