Date: Fri 14-Mar-1997

Publication: Bee

Author: KIMH

Quick Words:

Column-Girls-vs-boys

Full Text:

Column/Kim Harmon - Girls Versus Boys

When I went about this past week writing a story on three female athletes who

have sort of bridged a gender gap, to some degree, by competing with the boys,

I admit I had to prepare myself for a little unpleasantness. It was a nice

little story, telling about how the girls have succeeded in a somewhat

difficult situation, but I knew there were certain questions I had to ask,

certain issues I had to raise.

A few weeks ago I read a story in a Waterbury newspaper that examined an issue

that had become something more than it probably should have become in high

school athletics - most notably, however, at Holy Cross High School in

Waterbury.

It seems that there are several girls who wrestle with the Holy Cross

wrestling team and, while it seems harmless enough, concerns have been raised

by coaches and referees alike that really tarnishes the spirit of the thing,

the spirit of athletics.

The writer talked to several coaches who admitted that they pray a girl never

tries out for their wrestling team. The writer also talked to referees who

maintained they would not officiate any match where a girl is involved.

In both instances it seemed as if the thought of a girl on the team was not

what was so disquieting, but situations that may inadvertently arise or things

that might happen and be misconstrued that has these people so . . . well,

terrified.

The referees, in particular, were worried about what would happen if they had

to touch the wrestlers and accidentally touched someone in the wrong place.

The coaches, I got the feeling, were worried about similar occurrences to the

degree that even a hug would be misconstrued. I have talked to male coaches of

female sports several times in the past about similar issues and to a man they

have all said they are extremely careful about those hugs of congratulations

and pats on the back.

In fact, one coach, several years ago, said it so worried him that he stopped

coaching girls altogether.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I am, that in this society so saturated

with victims, where someone is always responsible and liable for someone

else's mental or physical anguish, that these thoughts would actually stain

the idea of simple competition.

Newtown High School has a female wrestler - Amanda Morici - and while writing

the story I had to ask her questions that shouldn't need asking, but did, and

I was glad to see that none of the issues that have distressed other people so

much seemed to have affected the Newtown coaches or Amanda's fellow wrestlers.

Two female swimmers - Tara Fiscella and Alyssa Von Oy - who competed with the

boys this winter also said there were no problems at all, except maybe for the

obvious little bits of awkwardness over locker rooms and changing or whatever.

Amanda's parents raised some concerns - and rightly so, I suppose. I'm a

parent, too, and although I'm not sure how I would react in a similar

situation, I hope I will be able to see it for what it was and not distrust

anybody my daughter might be competing with or against.

I realize that might be hard. Very hard.

But I was glad to see there were no similar issues with Amanda, Tara or

Alyssa. All said that it was a pleasant experience and that their teammates

not only welcomed them on the team, but treated well - meaning, just like any

other wrestler or swimmer.

Maybe Newtown is out of the loop a bit. Maybe people down here are a little

bit more open minded then some others. Maybe competition and athletics is just

competition and athletics and it doesn't matter which athletes are boys and

which are girls.

Maybe - or am I just fooling myself?