Date: Fri 05-Dec-1997

Publication: Bee

Author: ANDYG

Quick Words:

DARE-adult-drug-abuse-health

Full Text:

Adult DARE Program Explores The Impact Of Drug Use On Family Life

BY ANDREW GOROSKO

Growing up isn't simple, and the availability of drugs and alcohol makes it

less simple.

That's the message about two dozen residents heard at a panel discussion

sponsored by the police department for the parents of children undergoing the

stresses of adolescence.

The session was the culmination of six weekly gatherings known as "Adult

DARE," a program for the parents of fifth graders who have received DARE (Drug

Abuse Resistance Education) training in the local schools. DARE teaches fifth

graders how to avoid peer group pressure to use drugs. DARE is taught by

police Youth Officer George Sinko. Officer Sinko moderated the panel

discussion at Newtown Youth Services at the Newtown Congregational Church

House.

Panelists at the recent frank discussion session focused on the perils of

substance abuse by adolescents.

Chuck Berke, a family counselor, said, "Life has become more difficult."

"I think people try to find ways to make themselves feel better," Mr Berke

said of youths resorting to substance abuse to escape the pressures of their

increasingly complex lives. Drugs are available and successive generations

have become involved in drug use, he noted.

In some cases, there is a genetic predisposition for people to become addicted

to drugs, Mr Berke said. In some cases, children are exposed to their parents'

illicit use of drugs, he observed. Parents' behavior can have a large impact

on how their children behave, he said.

It is important that such matters be openly discussed at sessions such as the

one sponsored by the Adult DARE program, he stressed.

It's fairly simple for people to conceal their substance abuse from others, he

said. But someone who is involved in daily substance abuse, if not now

addicted, will become addicted, Mr Berke warned.

Marijuana is an "amotivational" drug, Mr Berke said, which serves as a

"gateway" drug to other drugs. How deeply a person may become involved in drug

abuse is based on many factors, Mr Berke observed.

When parents encounter evidence of drug use by their children, those parents

need not scream at their children, but simply enforce the consequences

stemming from their children's negative behavior, Mr Berke said. Screaming at

children can be counterproductive and make it more difficult for parents to

communicate disapproval to their children, he said.

One mother in the audience, concerned that her children always complain they

have no way to amuse themselves, asked Mr Berke why children always need to be

entertained.

Modern society presents much stimulation to its members. The pace of life has

grown so fast that advertisers sometimes consider the public to have only

15-second attention spans, causing them to flash rapidly changing images at

people to persuade them to buy products, Mr Berke said. Modern society has

become very conditioned to responding to fast-action stimuli, he said.

If parents and their children have relationships in which the children seek to

please their parents, those children most likely will select responsible

friends, Mr Berke said.

Besides chiding children for their mistakes, it's important that parents catch

their kids behaving well and then commend them for it, he said.

Symptoms

Virginia King, assistant principal at Newtown Middle School, said it's

frustrating to see some eighth grade students exhibiting "symptoms of

concern." It's even more saddening to see the children's behavior deteriorate,

requiring them to undergo rehabilitation by the ninth or tenth grade, she

added.

It is important that parents notice subtle changes in their children's

behavior because catching a problem early creates the best opportunity to

correct it, she said.

Allowing children to become involved in unsupervised situations can lead to

problems, Ms King said. After children come to school in the morning, they are

required to stay there until the end of the school day, she noted.

Sometimes the best way to deal with an evolving youth problem is having an

"outside counselor" intervene in a situation, she said. That counselor serves

as a "middle person," neither representing a child's parents nor the child's

school.

To those attending the Adult DARE program, Ms King said, "You're here and

you're aware and you're not in denial...Don't ever say `It's not my kid'

because it could be," Ms King said.

Margaret Pfeiffer, a substance abuse counselor with The Cornerstone of Eagle

Hill, which is a private, local substance abuse treatment center, said parents

must be vigilant and observe changes in their children's behavior.

"Awareness is the main thing. It's that change in behavior," she said.

Ms Pfeiffer, who has been an addiction counselor for 14 years, said, "It can

affect anyone. It can take over their life."

People affected by those with addiction problems shouldn't become involved in

seeking someone to blame for the situation, but should deal with the problem

itself, she said. Different people respond differently to drugs, she added.

"There is no `profile' of who gets addicted," she said.

Children need to know the rules of behavior and must suffer the consequences

if they violate those rules, she said.

"Being too nice sometimes is the worst thing," she said. "Secrets keep a

family sick. So many kids don't know the truth, and the truth is so important

to know," Ms Pfeiffer said.

If a child's grandfather died of alcoholism, the child should know that, not

be told that the man died of a simple heart attack, she said.

Parents should foster their children's sense of confidence and self-esteem,

teaching them to make wise choices, she said.

Such training must begin early, she said, noting it's not unusual for children

who are age 11 or 12 to be in therapy for alcoholism.

Youths need to learn how to have fun in a sober environment, she said.

Too Frank?

Lori Wilson, Newtown Middle School's psychologist, also was a discussion panel

member.

Ms Wilson cautioned that sometimes parents can be too frank with their

children, in effect, giving their children tacit permission to behave badly

and abuse substances.

The drugs available today are much more potent than they were in the past, she

said, noting that using drugs which produce an intense, rapid euphoria can

spur children to seek out even more potent substances.

To deal with the pressures of modern society, parents should teach their

children coping skills so they effectively learn how to deal with their

problems, Ms Wilson said.

Middle school children often say they want more attention from their parents,

she said, noting that many children express feelings of loneliness. Such

loneliness may be the product of both parents working, she said.

Resident Cindy Curtis Simon said she was observant, seeking to learn of any

problems her daughter might be experiencing when she was in high school, but

it was difficult to see anything changing. Kim Curtis, Ms Simon's daughter,

attended the panel discussion with her mother. Kim explained her past

experiences with substance abuse.

Mrs Simon explained her family has undergone intense therapy to learn how to

deal with the problem.

People can become addicted to various substances, such as tobacco, food and

alcohol, she said. "Drug addiction is a disease, an illness," she said.

Mrs Simon said she disagrees with some young people's contention that smoking

a marijuana cigarette is akin to drinking a beer. "I don't agree with it," she

said. The increasing use of marijuana has led to its becoming more widely

accepted in society, she warned.

Kim Curtis said that while going through high school, she wouldn't communicate

with her mother, adding that she traveled with a crowd of students who caused

trouble. Those children's parents had given up on them, Kim said. "My mother

never gave up on me. She was there for me through the whole thing," Kim added.

The crowd of kids that she had socialized with made her feel good at a

vulnerable time in her life when she had experienced multiple losses, Kim

said.

Parents should get to know their children's friends, Kim said, adding that she

got into trouble with youths whom her mother didn't know.

Drug problems among high school students have accelerated in recent years, Kim

said.

"No one ever gave you a book on how to be parents," Mrs Simon told audience

members. Parents must set guidelines for their children and stick to enforcing

those guidelines, she said.

When children reach high school, parents must become vigilant about the kids'

behavior, she said.

Whether a parent remains popular with their children is unimportant when

viewed in light of the harm that can befall children who become substance

abusers, Mrs Simon said.

Peter Dutchick, a Newtown High School senior, said the use of marijuana and

alcohol is widespread among young people. Many Newtown High School students

are drug users, he said.

It starts with drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, and smoking marijuana, he

said, adding, "You have to be naive to think they're not going to do it." He

noted that many youths drink and drive.

Parents should really make an effort to give their children positive

reinforcement, he said. Parents should be honest with their children, he

added.

"Responsibility is really the key," he said.